So ends Birthday Month. Like many things in my life recently, a little late and mildly unsatisfying.
Normally I am all about birthdays, and any excuse for revelry is to be cherished. I consider all of September to be fair game for hedonistic focus on me. But this year I had trouble thinking about my calendar more than a day or two in advance, and as a result, ended up with substantially less celebration than usual. (This was not for lack of offers - my sweet friends were tearing their hair out trying to get me to identify my desires.) Of course, now that it's over, I'm wishing I done a bit more.
Luckily for me, both Buffie and Sophia have October birthdays, so I can ride the coattails of their decadent month as I help to pamper them as much as possible.
My birthday is also my traditional time for taking stock of my life, making resolutions, and nesting - purging the stuff I don't use, and reorganizing the rest. Time to revisit last year's resolutions:
1. Make my apartment a home. Even after almost a year, parts of the space feel very temporary, and I don't like to spend time there. That means finishing unpacking, getting the right furniture for the space, getting rid of the stuff that doesn't work, and hanging my art, among other things.
In this, at least, I have been reasonably successful. I have gotten rid of all kinds of clothes and housewares that I no longer like or use, finally replaced my coffee table with a dining table, and cleared most of the boxes I had stored in Max's basement. I'm hoping to ride this wave of energy a little longer. There's always more to do (those moving boxes are still not unpacked, for instance). I think I've made good strides in this department and am on track to continue.
2. Continue with aerials classes, and develop a training and conditioning routine (including making training dates with the several friends who have already offered) - and stick to it.
Also pretty successful, with some lapses for illness and injury. I met my private skill goals for the end of 2009, learned the basics of three new kinds of equipment (sling, lyra, and dance trapeze), and when I've been able, have been very good about my training regimen. Still no regular workout buddies, however.
3. Become proficient with my brand new single-tail whip. It might take a whole year to get good enough to use it on a person, and I am determined to add it to my repertoire.
Mixed results here. I took some good workshops and have actually used it in a couple of scenes, but haven't practiced enough to break it in. I also bought another whip, a Victor Tella Wildcat, which is a bit like a combination of a singletail and a flogger. Purple and black, naturally. So now I have two whips to practice with and break in, although the new one is substantially easier to throw and I like it more.
4. Blog more here. My life has become even more insanely busy, but I often think of things I'd like to write about, or ideas I'd like to explore through writing. Besides, several friends have been prodding me to post more often. So I suppose my resolution is to get more of those words onto the virtual page.
Ha ha. I bet you can tell how I did with this one. Lots of ideas still rattling around that haven't made it out of my skull.
5. And on a related note, keep a tighter rein on my scheduling, and make sure to schedule more recharge time for myself. I'd like to reach a point where I don't feel frantically busy and drained all the time.
Again, mixed results. I have been more deliberate in committing to things, protected my home time more often, said "no" more often, and skipped things that became lower-priority than my self-care. This resolution is going to be a lifelong pursuit for me, but I think there has been noticeable improvement overall in the past year.
So overall, I think these were reasonable resolutions, and that I made strides in all of them. None of them had finite end points, and while I normally prefer that sense of completion, it's also nice to be able to say that improvement was success, rather than a stark yes or no, did or didn't. And conveniently enough, I can just roll them over to next year - all these are still things I would like to continue working on and reassess next September.
Additionally and more specifically for this year:
6. Choreograph and perform an aerial piece
7. Take a burlesque or dance or pole dancing class
Most of this year has been very good, emotionally, professionally, in my relationships, and in my personal growth. I have still struggled at times, but less so than last year and better every day, and that is the best a person can hope for.