Crass Materialism Week: Kinky Toys Edition

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

For our final day of Crass Materialism, before I get all this retail madness out of my system and write about something else, it's all about the kinky toys. I am still a baby kinkster in many ways, but have built a nice little collection of toppy toys. Not complete, never complete, but enough to satisfy most of my current desires.

This Christmas I received as a gift a toy I never thought I would want: a stun gun. I am terrified of them as a bottom: they are one of the few soft limits I have with Max. Little did I know how much fun I would have zapping other people! Besides, the one Matisse gave me is so tiny and adorable, it's hard not to love it. It's about 4 inches long, a lovely pearly mauve color, and packs a 350,000 volt punch.



Of course, now I'm on the prowl for other cute little stun guns to add to my collection. They come in many shades of purple! I actually found a purple one online that boasts 2 million volts. That's probably substantially more effective against a genuine assailant, but seems a little excessive for applying to testicles or any other part of someone I like. I'll stick to under 600K, thanks.

Another recent purple acquisition was some delicious rope, a skein of Twisted Monk's Midori/AIDS Lifecycle fundraiser color "Hope". I've already mentioned how much I love the Bavarian Blonde. This is the same gorgeous stuff, but dyed a deep dark purple. I haven't tied anyone up with it yet, because I've been too busy rolling around in it (NSFW). Big thanks to Monk and his crew for supplying me with my latest hemp fix.

So what else is on my list for enhancing my reputation as a mean top? A single-tail whip, for which I'm hoping to shop at Kinkfest. Max has promised to give me some lessons as soon as I get my own whip to practice with. I'll probably get a 3 or 4 foot signal whip, which is about the longest you can reasonably swing in most indoor spaces.

I'd also like to get an ErosTek 312 someday, although that is a hefty investment at around $500, especially if I want any attachments to go with it. It's just such a neat device, and so well designed for what we do, unlike most electrical toys. What other gadget has a setting called "Orgasm"? That one I'd even play with at home by myself.

I have two sets of sounds already, of which I am inordinately fond, but there's another set I have my eye on: the Rosebuds. A traditional sound is a straight or curved cylinder, sometimes with a slightly different diameter on each end. These have a small (or not so small) oval-shaped ball on the end, which tapers to a much thinner shaft. The guys at Kinky Medical assure me that there are all kinds of neat things you can do with these, and I'm eager to explore the potential on some equally eager gentlemen.

All fancy equipment aside, I can get a lot of mileage out of a length of rope, my bare hands, and maybe a few needles. And in fact, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go do that...


Common Sense Warning: All these items can be dangerous. Know what you're doing before playing with them, and be aware of the risks.