Why I Don't Use Facebook (yet)

A small rant about Facebook, that monolith of social networking...

This weekend I met a number of new and charming people - fun, sexy, interesting, creative people, most of whom I would love to see again. But when we got to the swap of contact info (like a phone number on a matchbook in the old days when there were still phones and matches), nearly all of them suggested we could connect on Facebook. While I'm not opposed to social networking, I have so far avoided joining this particular juggernaut, despite the increasing frequency of situations like this. Here are some reasons why:

10 Reasons To Delete Your Facebook Account

"...Even if we weren't talking about ethical issues here, I can't trust Facebook's technical competence to make sure my data isn't hijacked...They either don't care too much about your privacy or don't really have very good engineers, or perhaps both..."

"...Facebook's Terms Of Service state that not only do they own your data (section 2.1), but if you don't keep it up to date and accurate (section 4.6), they can terminate your account (section 14)..."

Facebook's Gone Rogue

"...Facebook thinks that your notions of privacy - meaning your ability to control information about yourself - are just plain old-fashioned."

These links are slightly outdated - Facebook did make some modest improvements in the past two months, faced with outrage from privacy groups, but their philosophy remains the same. Their track record doesn't inspire my trust - remember, they either don't care about my privacy or are too incompetent to protect it. Every time I've been tempted to join I've run into another article that reminds me why I haven't.

As you may have guessed, Lorelei is not what my mother called me - it is my nom de plume, a shimmering veil of anonymity. It has allowed me to share some extremely intimate things about myself, to share photos, to express my alternative sexuality and write about things that matter to me, without serious risk of damaging the other parts of my life. Believe it or not, I actually do have a day-to-day life that is not all kink, all the time. I'm very fortunate to have the freedom to be as open as I am, and I feel it's important to exercise that freedom. I recognize that I'm taking a risk when I put anything online. I take that risk knowing it would not be the end of my world to be outed. Many of kinky friends know a great deal about my private life. Still, I would prefer not to have former teachers or future employers find this blog and identity easily. I have been careful not to connect the more adventurous parts of my life with my legal name. In fact, there's virtually nothing online linked to my legal name. In these days of Google-stalking and online reference checks, I like knowing I have at least some control over what information the casual searcher can find. Remember what Uncle Wil says: On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog - and in my case, I'd like that to remain true.

The bottom line is that I value my privacy, and Facebook doesn't, nor does it have any reason to. The ease of adding connections is what makes Facebook appealing, and it's also what makes it impossible to truly control the flow of information. Someday facial recognition software will improve enough to identify me in the photos I post here, privacy will be history, our sex lives will be public and we will all have microchips implanted in our brains so our every thought is transmitted immediately to Twitter. Maybe in that future people will not be penalized for their lifestyle choices. In the meantime I'd rather stick with pseudonyms and an air of mystery.

Will I hold out forever? Maybe not. I swore I'd never Twitter, either, and look at me go. Lately it seems like everyone and their cat is using Facebook as their primary platform, and I'll need to join to stay in the loop. I've missed any number of event invitations and life updates because I'm not a member - and don't forget those sexy people I'd like to see again. However, if I do join, I'll certainly keep my blogging and photos here, as I'd rather not hand Facebook the ownership of my data to do with as it pleases. And you, my lovely readers, will know I've been dragged kicking and screaming all the way (which doesn't sound all that bad, now that I think about it).