Bound & Blissed

Birthday Resolutions 2010

2010-10-06T10:00:00.001-07:00

So ends Birthday Month. Like many things in my life recently, a little late and mildly unsatisfying.

Normally I am all about birthdays, and any excuse for revelry is to be cherished. I consider all of September to be fair game for hedonistic focus on me. But this year I had trouble thinking about my calendar more than a day or two in advance, and as a result, ended up with substantially less celebration than usual. (This was not for lack of offers - my sweet friends were tearing their hair out trying to get me to identify my desires.) Of course, now that it's over, I'm wishing I done a bit more.

Luckily for me, both Buffie and Sophia have October birthdays, so I can ride the coattails of their decadent month as I help to pamper them as much as possible.

My birthday is also my traditional time for taking stock of my life, making resolutions, and nesting - purging the stuff I don't use, and reorganizing the rest. Time to revisit last year's resolutions:

1. Make my apartment a home. Even after almost a year, parts of the space feel very temporary, and I don't like to spend time there. That means finishing unpacking, getting the right furniture for the space, getting rid of the stuff that doesn't work, and hanging my art, among other things.

In this, at least, I have been reasonably successful. I have gotten rid of all kinds of clothes and housewares that I no longer like or use, finally replaced my coffee table with a dining table, and cleared most of the boxes I had stored in Max's basement. I'm hoping to ride this wave of energy a little longer. There's always more to do (those moving boxes are still not unpacked, for instance). I think I've made good strides in this department and am on track to continue.

2. Continue with aerials classes, and develop a training and conditioning routine (including making training dates with the several friends who have already offered) - and stick to it.

Also pretty successful, with some lapses for illness and injury. I met my private skill goals for the end of 2009, learned the basics of three new kinds of equipment (sling, lyra, and dance trapeze), and when I've been able, have been very good about my training regimen. Still no regular workout buddies, however.

3. Become proficient with my brand new single-tail whip. It might take a whole year to get good enough to use it on a person, and I am determined to add it to my repertoire.

Mixed results here. I took some good workshops and have actually used it in a couple of scenes, but haven't practiced enough to break it in. I also bought another whip, a Victor Tella Wildcat, which is a bit like a combination of a singletail and a flogger. Purple and black, naturally. So now I have two whips to practice with and break in, although the new one is substantially easier to throw and I like it more.

4. Blog more here. My life has become even more insanely busy, but I often think of things I'd like to write about, or ideas I'd like to explore through writing. Besides, several friends have been prodding me to post more often. So I suppose my resolution is to get more of those words onto the virtual page.

Ha ha. I bet you can tell how I did with this one. Lots of ideas still rattling around that haven't made it out of my skull.

5. And on a related note, keep a tighter rein on my scheduling, and make sure to schedule more recharge time for myself. I'd like to reach a point where I don't feel frantically busy and drained all the time.

Again, mixed results. I have been more deliberate in committing to things, protected my home time more often, said "no" more often, and skipped things that became lower-priority than my self-care. This resolution is going to be a lifelong pursuit for me, but I think there has been noticeable improvement overall in the past year.

So overall, I think these were reasonable resolutions, and that I made strides in all of them. None of them had finite end points, and while I normally prefer that sense of completion, it's also nice to be able to say that improvement was success, rather than a stark yes or no, did or didn't. And conveniently enough, I can just roll them over to next year - all these are still things I would like to continue working on and reassess next September.

Additionally and more specifically for this year:

6. Choreograph and perform an aerial piece
7. Take a burlesque or dance or pole dancing class

Most of this year has been very good, emotionally, professionally, in my relationships, and in my personal growth. I have still struggled at times, but less so than last year and better every day, and that is the best a person can hope for.

2010-10-05T13:23:00.002-07:00

Oh hi, Internet! You're still here! And I'm not dead yet.

I do have a couple of articles to recommend for your edification:

The first is a thought-provoking essay by Jesse Bering: Polyamory Chic, Gay Jealousy, & the Evolution of a Broken Heart As the title suggests, the essay explores the recent upsurge in discussion of evolutionary theory as it relates to non-monogamy, and where gay relationships fit into that picture. I don't agree with everything he writes, but he does have some very interesting observations.

The second is a fantastic response by Christopher Ryan (co-author of Sex at Dawn). On Gay Jealousy

I was grateful to read Ryan's response, because I had been struggling with the implied concepts in Bering's essay and couldn't quite articulate why. With his assistance, I can identify my beef: trying to force-fit relationship jealousy into the evolutionary mold without considering that it might have other learned or social causes - and characterizing it as an unavoidable response to a partner having sex with someone else. Ryan has some great comments on separation anxiety and emotional loss, which are applicable to everyone, gay or straight.

Mean Rope Workshop!

2010-07-30T11:28:00.003-07:00

Don't forget, Max's monthly bondage workshop is on Sunday, and the topic is Mean Rope: Rope Skills for Sadists and Masochists. As the title suggests, this is a workshop for sadistic tops and masochistic bottoms (and those delightful folks who are both). Learn how rope can be used as an SM tool, volunteer for a demo, and meet other friendly perverts!

Sunday August 1st, 2010
2:30 PM to 5:30 PM
at the Center for Sex Positive Culture (CSPC) in Seattle

Why I Don't Use Facebook (yet)

2010-07-20T12:43:00.003-07:00

A small rant about Facebook, that monolith of social networking...

This weekend I met a number of new and charming people - fun, sexy, interesting, creative people, most of whom I would love to see again. But when we got to the swap of contact info (like a phone number on a matchbook in the old days when there were still phones and matches), nearly all of them suggested we could connect on Facebook. While I'm not opposed to social networking, I have so far avoided joining this particular juggernaut, despite the increasing frequency of situations like this. Here are some reasons why:

10 Reasons To Delete Your Facebook Account

"...Even if we weren't talking about ethical issues here, I can't trust Facebook's technical competence to make sure my data isn't hijacked...They either don't care too much about your privacy or don't really have very good engineers, or perhaps both..."

"...Facebook's Terms Of Service state that not only do they own your data (section 2.1), but if you don't keep it up to date and accurate (section 4.6), they can terminate your account (section 14)..."

Facebook's Gone Rogue

"...Facebook thinks that your notions of privacy - meaning your ability to control information about yourself - are just plain old-fashioned."

These links are slightly outdated - Facebook did make some modest improvements in the past two months, faced with outrage from privacy groups, but their philosophy remains the same. Their track record doesn't inspire my trust - remember, they either don't care about my privacy or are too incompetent to protect it. Every time I've been tempted to join I've run into another article that reminds me why I haven't.

As you may have guessed, Lorelei is not what my mother called me - it is my nom de plume, a shimmering veil of anonymity. It has allowed me to share some extremely intimate things about myself, to share photos, to express my alternative sexuality and write about things that matter to me, without serious risk of damaging the other parts of my life. Believe it or not, I actually do have a day-to-day life that is not all kink, all the time. I'm very fortunate to have the freedom to be as open as I am, and I feel it's important to exercise that freedom. I recognize that I'm taking a risk when I put anything online. I take that risk knowing it would not be the end of my world to be outed. Many of kinky friends know a great deal about my private life. Still, I would prefer not to have former teachers or future employers find this blog and identity easily. I have been careful not to connect the more adventurous parts of my life with my legal name. In fact, there's virtually nothing online linked to my legal name. In these days of Google-stalking and online reference checks, I like knowing I have at least some control over what information the casual searcher can find. Remember what Uncle Wil says: On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog - and in my case, I'd like that to remain true.

The bottom line is that I value my privacy, and Facebook doesn't, nor does it have any reason to. The ease of adding connections is what makes Facebook appealing, and it's also what makes it impossible to truly control the flow of information. Someday facial recognition software will improve enough to identify me in the photos I post here, privacy will be history, our sex lives will be public and we will all have microchips implanted in our brains so our every thought is transmitted immediately to Twitter. Maybe in that future people will not be penalized for their lifestyle choices. In the meantime I'd rather stick with pseudonyms and an air of mystery.

Will I hold out forever? Maybe not. I swore I'd never Twitter, either, and look at me go. Lately it seems like everyone and their cat is using Facebook as their primary platform, and I'll need to join to stay in the loop. I've missed any number of event invitations and life updates because I'm not a member - and don't forget those sexy people I'd like to see again. However, if I do join, I'll certainly keep my blogging and photos here, as I'd rather not hand Facebook the ownership of my data to do with as it pleases. And you, my lovely readers, will know I've been dragged kicking and screaming all the way (which doesn't sound all that bad, now that I think about it).

Shibaricon, here we come!

2010-05-26T18:02:00.004-07:00

Max, Griffin and I are getting geared up to leave for Shibaricon tomorrow. This is a little milestone - flying with both a primary and secondary partner! This is my second Shibaricon, and I'm looking forward to renewing friendships, meeting some new people, learning a few tricks, helping Max teach, and playing until I drop. We'll be doing Fundamentals of Rope Bondage on Friday and Partial Suspension 1 and 2 on Saturday, and I already have a few play dates lined up. We're also planning to get out to the IML Vendor Market and the Leather Archives.

Meanwhile, I have been running like crazy trying to get everything set up to run without me for a few days. I got Max's packing done yesterday, but I still need to pack my own bag, and somehow get our rope-filled suitcases under 50 pounds each without taking out all the clothes. I run around naked a lot, but still, a few outfits would be nice!

And just in time for me to be out of town somewhere fun, I have finally succumbed to the temptation of Twitter. You can follow my day-to-day adventures here - but I don't guarantee it will always be interesting. I'll add a sidebar to the blog when I have a chance. Shibaricon updates will be sporadic, since phones are not allowed anywhere in the conference space, but I'm sure you'll hear some snippets from me. If you'll be there, come say hi!

Debauchery Recovery

2010-05-17T13:02:00.002-07:00

Today is all about recovering from a weekend of debauchery. Actually, most Mondays are. My past couple of months in a nutshell: Kinkfest, 7 weeks of sick (the death cough is finally receding), 4 workshops, a weekend of culinary debauchery in NYC, a bunch of rockin' dates with various and sundry playmates, SEAF, and Max's birthday. The excitement never stops - and while I often say that ironically (for instance, when I've spent all day filing), it's actually true.

So while I had enough energy to launch a blog post today, I don't have enough active brain cells to write anything cohesive. I think all the champagne this weekend may have disabled my capacity for critical thinking. Instead, I'll leave you with this adorable (and probably not safe for work) song, linked by the inestimable Anita Wagner.

One year later

2010-04-08T11:35:00.002-07:00

Today is my anniversary. Well, one of them. One year ago, Griffin and I had our first capital-D Date.

This may come as a bit of a surprise, since I've never mentioned Griffin here. People who have attended Max's workshops will remember him as one of the co-instructors. We've been good friends for several years, and as it turns out, had both been nurturing a secret crush for much of that time. In typical junior high fashion, we'd been flirting like crazy, but were both completely convinced that the other was not interested in pursuing anything more than friendship.

When April 2009 rolled around, we'd gotten in the habit of monthly dinner dates. Over sushi, we'd talk about D/s, poly, lifestyle issues, personal history, likes and dislikes, what we were each looking for - in short, everything you suss out before adding a partner, if you're a slow-moving kinky nerd. We also made lots of stupid jokes and hung around in playgrounds at night. On April 8th, after some gentle prodding from a matchmaking friend (and some negotiation with Max), I decided enough was enough. Tonight would be the night, I would confess my crush, whatever the consequences. I spent a whole lingering dinner gearing myself up for it and waiting for the right opportunity. And in the car on the way to dessert, Griffin beat me to the first move. There must have been something in the air. The date suddenly became a Date, and the rest is history.

When that long-burning fuse finally exploded, it was hot and fiery and may have temporarily blinded innocent bystanders. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, played hard enough I worried about scaring my neighbors, upended our schedules to have more time together. We dove into a passionate exploration of the possibilities - shmoopy affection, intellectual intercourse, an intense D/s dynamic - and found them all delicious. Since then we have settled into a more well-measured routine. We've had to be realistic about the limitations of our busy lives - we each had a full plate before adding another partner. But we're still crazy about each other, and still enjoying our mutual exploration.

Due to the eccentricity of poly scheduling, I actually won't be spending the evening with Griffin today. I'll be seeing a concert with Max, followed by a date with someone else. Griffin and I are saving our celebration for this weekend, when we'll have some uninterrupted time together. And here's one of the many reasons Griffin is a good partner for me: he's hoping I have a good time tonight. Thanks, sweetness.

A Romantic Day Like Any Other

2010-02-14T09:00:00.002-08:00

I'm not currently a big celebrator of Valentine's Day. Neither am I a big detractor - I have had some wonderful experiences with lovers on February 14ths in the past. (In fact, I have some naughty pictures to prove it. Maybe I should post them someday.) In my life I have vacillated between handcrafting cards, preparing special meals, and taking romantic getaways on one end of the spectrum, and all the way to calling it "VD Day" or "Singles Awareness Day" on the other. But in general, it's just another day. And in my world, every day is a good day to shower your loved ones with affection.

With that in mind, Valentine's Day as good a day as any to send a shout-out to all the wonderful people I love, and those who love me. Friends, family, lovers, playmates - you know who you are. Thank you for moving through my world, and sharing yours with me. I have a wide range of relationships in all flavors, from sweet to sadistic, and I'm grateful to those who have shown me the infinite ways love can be expressed. Who knew spanking, bondage, and ass fucking could be so romantic?

I must give credit where credit is due - there are some sweet souls in my sphere for whom this day is extra-special, and who have given me beautiful tokens of affection. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You imbue the day with delight.

Now get out there and do some everyday lovin' - whatever that looks like for you. And as for me? I suggested ass fucking.

If ass fucking is also your idea of romance, don't forget to check out Peg-Ass-Us tonight through Wednesday!

Women doing womanly things (not fisting)

2010-02-13T21:58:00.004-08:00

I'm in the midst of a weekend-long women's conference - and not a kinky one, for a change. It's taken some mental readjustment. I can't remember the last time I went to a non-kinky/non-sexual conference. Hardly anyone is wearing black, and everyone is fully clothed. Nobody is talking about fisting or cunnilingus. The women are much freer with touching strangers than I'm used to, since in the kink scene the social etiquette is to ask before touching. Most of the humor in this crowd is about bras, feisty old women, and hot flashes - despite being female, I am decidedly not the target demographic. And unlike kinky women's events, there was no controversy about who was woman enough to attend.

I've got to say, this event is a blast from my past. The focus is women's wisdom, spirituality, and empowerment. I'm exposing my unbleached, all-natural, hippie woo woo roots here. I was raised with plenty of woo and spirituality, and I went to Evergreen, where meditation, vegan cooking, and tie-dye are nearly obligatory. I understand and speak passably the language of the mind/body/spirit genre. Since I moved to Seattle, I've moved further from those pursuits, and I rarely consider my spiritual leanings. Mark Yu is always a great reminder of how to plug in to that part of myself and why I should. (By the way, this conference is why I'm missing Mark's Chinese New Year shindig tonight. Sorry, Mark and Cecily! I hope I'll see you soon!) Most of the folks in my regular social circle are skeptical scientific atheists, and while they have no ill intentions, it's easy to absorb their cynicism. It's relaxing this weekend to be in a large group of supportive women who don't ask that anyone prove the veracity of their beliefs, and who are largely unselfconscious of their own.

I'm thinking of this conference is a refresher course in getting plugged in - and enhancing my kinky and poly skills. Even though I'm not learning bondage technique or power exchange dynamics, I can apply all this knowledge to my everyday kinky life. Most of the workshops I'm attending are focused on self-care, awareness, and intentionality - concepts that are key to thoughtful topping, engaged bottoming, and clear communication. You don't need to be a woo woo woman to think that's wise.

2010-02-04T17:55:00.002-08:00

I've been a little under the weather this week. It didn't stop me from getting up to some sexy mischief today (for which, a big thank you to my co-conspirators), but sadly, it did prevent me from going to Bang 4 the Buck over the weekend. Since I consider this the most rockin' women's event of the year, that was a big disappointment. I heard plenty of stories from my girlfriends, but it's just not the same.

I did see Midori and KellyB briefly, as they were staying at Max's house. They are delightful house guests, and I was sorry to see so little of them this time. I also had the opportunity to serve at the dinner party Max threw for Midori. Buffie came along as my lieutenant, and together with Max, we hosted (and served sushi and sake for) nearly 30 people. I think everyone enjoyed the occasion, and from a hosting perspective, everything went smoothly. I have worked behind the scenes on several similar parties in the past, and am always refining the quantities, timing, presentation, house layout, and all the other little details that make or break a soiree. My goal for this kind of event is for all the pieces to fall into place so seamlessly that the guest of honor doesn't have to think about them - she can just show up and focus on being fabulous and interactive. I think I achieved that, and as a service bottom, I find that kind of success immensely satisfying.

I was not in service to Midori, of course - this was a service to Max, and the overarching theme of our service relationship is, "What can I do to make his life easier?" He gave me some specific tasks, but also the broad goal of a smooth and successful event, and meeting Midori's needs is part of that. Everything I do in service is one less thing for him to worry about, and I'm always pleased when I can see him relax about some aspect because he trusts that I'm handling it.

And can I just sing Buffie's praises for a moment? I could not ask for a better helping hand in the kitchen, or a lovelier co-hostess. She helped out with this party, not as a service transaction, but as a favor to me and Max because she is fond of us and because she is fabulous.

No excuses

2010-01-29T18:00:00.002-08:00

As I may have noted in passing, I've been training in aerials since August. It's a heck of a workout, and I have been gaining muscle like crazy (and regaining some of the flexibility I had as a dancer). As an unanticipated side bonus, it's also increased my capacity to be upside down and to spin in rope suspensions. Max and I have been having a great time playing with my new skills.

So lately I've gotten really gung ho about my training, and have been at the studio 3-4 times a week. Yesterday I took the next logical leap, and acquired a tissu for practicing at home. Conveniently enough, Max has load-rated hard points all over his house, and graciously volunteered one for my practice.

While this ceiling is by no means tall enough to practice many drops, it's fine for conditioning and some basic practicing - and having it close means I will have no excuse not to work out every day.

Southwest Leather Conference 2010

2010-01-28T23:31:00.001-08:00

Max and I spent last weekend in Phoenix at the Southwest Leather Conference. It was my first time in Phoenix, and a new convention for both of us. It was also my first time at a Master/slave focused event. We don’t identify that way, but our full-time D/s dynamic has a fair amount in common with many Master/slave relationships, and we were hoping to get some value out of the crossover educational subjects.

Some highlights:

- Whipmaster Bob and Bootpig’s two-part singletail whip workshop. I bought my first signal whip more than 6 months ago, and it’s been hanging in my closet ever since. I learned some fundamentals and basic throws, and I’m looking forward to practicing up a storm now that I’m more confident that I won’t hit myself in the face too often.

-A kickass (and unexpectedly sexy) scene with Max in the dungeon on Friday night. Yum.

- All the leather! Every room I walked into smelled amazing.

- A fantastic bootblack lounge. The bootblack let me watch up close while he did Max’s boots and answered all my questions, and then I got a turn in the chair for a luxuriously long treatment on my own boots.

- Dinner with Lolita, Boymeat, and Kathryn. They are so much fun!

- Running into a charming young man with whom I did a scene in 2008, and getting to know one another better over drinks.

- Tuning up and stepping up my level of protocol and service with Max. This is always nice to do out of town, when we can focus on each other, and the M/s-D/s flavor of the event made it a comfortable public dynamic.

We didn’t participate in the Dance of Souls, as we were prioritizing the education track, and I’m regretting that a little bit. This conference self-identifies as the most “woo-woo” event around; I’m inclined to agree, and I would probably have gotten a lot out of an energy pull in that setting.

Overall, while we had a fine time, this conference was not as good a fit for us as I had hoped. Despite our interest in the energetic connection between players, the con just wasn’t quite up our alley. Also, it rained the whole time. What the hell, Phoenix?

Bumpy Reentry

2009-10-02T14:47:00.002-07:00

I went to San Francisco last weekend for the Folsom Street Fair, which was big huge fun. It was right on the heels of a long weekend in Vancouver B.C. with my best girlfriends, and my mother was in town for the few intervening days. So I had a fabulous time, but now I'm working hard to catch up with my day job and the rest of my life, and coping with a heavy case of top/bottom/travel drop (otherwise known as a "had-too-much-fun hangover").

We've also officially reached the end of Birthday Month, which was a riot of celebration. My friends and family are awfully good to me.

In the meantime, while I get my brains together enough to write something cohesive, check out Matisse's photos from the street fair.

Or, consider taking a workshop!

Sophia and Russell are teaching Head Play Saturday October 5th. (That is, BDSM involving the head, neck and face, not mental play.)

Max is teaching Fundamentals of Rope Bondage this Sunday 10/6, and a Two-Day Bondage Intensive on November 14-15. We plan to be at the Bondage party this Sunday after the workshop, so come say hi and tie people up!

Birthday Resolutions

2009-09-07T16:25:00.002-07:00

Yep, it's that time of the year again. Thanks and hugs to all the wonderful people who have called, emailed, texted, and posted shout-outs today. It's made me feel warm and special right down to my toes. I am profoundly grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

I find my birthday a better season for reinvention and renewal than the arbitrary January 1st. So, by my next birthday I would like to achieve the following (or something better!):

1. Make my apartment a home. Even after almost a year, parts of the space feel very temporary, and I don't like to spend time there. That means finishing unpacking, getting the right furniture for the space, getting rid of the stuff that doesn't work, and hanging my art, among other things.

2. Continue with aerials classes, and develop a training and conditioning routine (including making training dates with the several friends who have already offered) - and stick to it.

3. Become proficient with my brand new single-tail whip. It might take a whole year to get good enough to use it on a person, and I am determined to add it to my repertoire.

4. Blog more here. My life has become even more insanely busy, but I often think of things I'd like to write about, or ideas I'd like to explore through writing. Besides, several friends have been prodding me to post more often. So I suppose my resolution is to get more of those words onto the virtual page.

5. And on a related note, keep a tighter rein on my scheduling, and make sure to schedule more recharge time for myself. I'd like to reach a point where I don't feel frantically busy and drained all the time.

And now, I'm off to celebrate with my nearest and dearest!

Slippery smooth

2009-05-07T16:42:00.002-07:00

I'm about to embark upon a night of sadistic debauchery, but first, I thought this was worth mentioning: I got my first bikini wax last night!

There were definitely strong sensations involved - this is a very sensitive area, after all - but it was not as excruciating as I expected. My lovely esthetician neglected to apply numbing agent beforehand, so I got the full sensory experience. She claims not to be a sadist herself, but she is certainly a masochist, so perhaps she was just trying to share the wealth. She did a fantastic and professional job.

Now I am smooth, smooth, smooth, save for a token tuft on my mound (Max's request, as he likes to tug on it). I don't really mind shaving, but I could get used to this kind of long-lasting smoothness. Happily, a few other people will also get to appreciate the results in the next couple of days. And on that note, my evening begins!

Happy May Day!

2009-05-01T08:43:00.003-07:00

This is my very favorite day of the year. In celebration, here are my top 3 songs about May Day (which reveal my bizarrely eclectic musical tastes). Pretend I have just rung your doorbell and run away, leaving a basket of flowers on the doorstep.

(Language on this one NSFW. Download the mP3 here.)

This video is of questionable quality - although probably safe for work. Here's higher-quality audio of the song.

Mark Yu - Coming Soon!

2009-04-26T22:38:00.002-07:00

Don't forget, Mark Yu will be in town next weekend presenting several wonderful workshops, as well as sharing an Intimate Dinner with a small group on Thursday. He has an incredible breadth of knowledge about rope bondage, SM play, healing arts, and bodywork, and this is a unique opportunity to ask the detailed questions he won't have time to answer during his workshops. If you're curious about Mark and the work he does, either professionally or in the dungeon, I highly recommend this event. Pre-registration is required and closes Tuesday, so get registered ASAP!

(Also, wow! This is my 100th post!)

Not tonight, I have a headache

2009-04-14T15:03:00.002-07:00

I realized yesterday that I have, for the past couple of weeks, been too tired to masturbate. It actually wouldn't take that much effort - due to the backlog (and some other influences) I have been walking around in a perpetual state of arousal, such that I have been tempted to duck into my office bathroom for a quickie during the day. But by the time I'm at home and settled in, it has seemed like a much better idea to just roll over and fall asleep.

So, official new rule: Too tired to masturbate is too tired, and signals that it's time to re-prioritize.

Luckily I just completed my Huge Work Project, so I will be returning to my usual level of crazy busy instead of frantic. The other draws on my time have been much more interesting. The Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival turned out to be big fun. I assisted Max with 8 hours of nearly nonstop education, which included some physically rigorous rope demos, and after dinner, we did another intense suspension demonstration. By the time all that was finished, I was pretty fried, and not really capable of anything more exciting than a soak in the hot tub. We met a bunch of friendly folks (and tied some of them up), and despite a little culture-clash, I look forward to returning to New Horizons sometime with a less demanding schedule. I'm not sure swinging is really my thing, but hey, I'm willing to give it a chance and see. I hear the event producer is planning a similar event in October, so if you missed this one, keep an eye out for it. New Horizons is an amazing facility - just getting to spend some time there might be worth the cost of admission.

There are other exciting things happening in my life, but you'll have to wait to hear about them. Right now I'm getting caught up on things, and indulging in some well-deserved post-project pampering.

Quick Event Notice

2009-04-05T10:00:00.003-07:00

I have been too freakin' busy to blog, but here are some event announcements.

It's last-minute, but today is Max's Fundamentals of Rope Bondage workshop at CSPC. A great class for beginners or to brush up your technique!

Early registration for the Two-Day Intensive ends today, and there are still a few seats open. If you were thinking of registering, this is the last day of early-bird pricing, although you can still register until April 20th if space allows. (ETA: This event is now sold out!)

Next weekend I will be assisting Max at the Seattle Fetish and Fantasy Festival at New Horizons. He'll be teaching three rope workshops, plus one bondage exhibition, on Saturday, and we'll be at the evening party that night. This will be a new experience for me, as I have never been to a swing club/event before. Check it out!

Demanding Footwear

2009-03-26T17:08:00.003-08:00

I'm scurrying around frantically, getting ready to leave for Kinkfest in a matter of moments. Last night found me throwing lingerie all over the room, and shimmying in and out of a number of skimpy outfits, trying to decide what to pack. One ensemble, in which I'll be topping on Friday night, makes me look like the Mistress of Black Shiny. I have never felt so much like a stereotypical fem-domme, all tall patent boots and painted-on PVC dress. Normally I tend more toward the softer side of sadism - lingerie sets, flowing feminine frocks, matte heels, or as often as not, bare feet. But Armani was kind enough to present me with the oh-so-fabulous boots I was lusting after, and these boots are demanding. They demand submission, they demand attention - and they demand a dress with the same attitude.

So, off I go to be demanding - at least, for one night. The rest of the time I expect to be submitting to the demands of my darling top. I wouldn't put it past Max to require service from me while I'm wearing the boots, for that matter, so the boots will just have to follow my lead and learn to switch gracefully.

A Study in Contrasts

2009-03-19T21:29:00.001-08:00

I'm back from my whirlwind tour of distant lands. I had a good time in all locations, though in completely different ways. I had meant to blog along the way, but ended up with a crammed schedule. My hometown trip was busy and intense, as I had some "coming out" discussions and reconnected with old friends and lovers. It was divine to take a mini-vacation upon my return, especially as I was indulged beyond belief by my companion, for which I am profoundly grateful. Unfortunately, now I'm paying for my days of fun, as my day job had an upswing in business while I was gone, and I am swamped with work, and will be for the next month.

A week ago I was in the boondocks visiting with my parents and catching up with old friends. A day ago I was sitting in a gorgeous hotel being treated like a queen and doing things that would make the Marquis de Sade blush. Today I spent 12 hours at my desk, crunching data and wading through resumes. Talk about a study in contrasts. As different as those chapters are, however, they are all examples of me doing what I do best. I have a very eclectic range of talents, which this week included: healing via touch and conversation, building intimacy, sharing food, enhancing connections, being incredibly sadistic, massaging data and spreadsheets, and driving in snow. (Regarding the last, my drive back to Seattle on Sunday ended up taking 9 hours instead of 6, the last 3 with chains. I felt very bad-ass doing that all by myself.)

Big thanks to all the people I saw in my hometown for a lovely (if tiring) visit, and welcome to a few new blog readers! I'm incredibly thankful that I could share so much of myself with you, and be received so lovingly.

Due to all the upcoming work, I'm officially abandoning the idea of going to Norwescon. It will take place during the penultimate week of my project, and I just don't see myself having the time or energy. Max and I also decided to skip Shibaricon this year - sorry, out-of-town rope friends! You'll just have to come visit us in Seattle!

A Counterpoint

2009-03-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

Most of this week has been devoted to running around like a crazy person. I’m leaving tomorrow to visit family for a few days, and will be off the radar in Seattle for another couple of days as soon as I return. In the meantime, there is a hell of a lot to do to prepare for my absence. I am the sort of person who, when packing, suddenly finds it vitally important to get my bathroom and kitchen spotlessly clean. Even without that kind of diversion, I have a lot of moving parts in my life, and they all need to be ready to do without me for a short time.

Before I leap back into the fray, however, I want to do a little follow-up to my retail extravaganza from last week. Obviously I’ve had shopping on the brain lately. That theme was big fun to write about and to share with all of you. Luckily the window-shopping is at least half the fun, because I’m sure not buying everything I featured.

This recession is affecting just about everybody, and I am not immune to it. I know a lot of people are struggling to make ends meet. I am incredibly fortunate to be relatively untouched. I have steady sources of income, a nice place to live, everything I need and many of the things I want. I have supportive family and friends, who not only indulge me in my material desires from time to time, but would take good care of me if I lost my job. Nevertheless, I am well aware that this could all change overnight in this economic climate. I am being much more careful with my pennies, questioning luxuries, putting more in savings, and investing for the future.

So as a counterpoint to all the retail lust, let’s take a break from our busy day, and focus for a moment on the priceless experiences that give meaning to the material.

The breath of a lover on my skin, the scent of longing and lust and fulfillment, kissing, touching, sliding across one another

Moonlight across my bed, the blue light of dark-o’clock when I’ve stayed up with you all night, the wonderment of connection

Love letters from years ago, the words that reignite the intensity and remind me of the beauty shared

Your moans of pain and pleasure as I dig my fingers into your skin and squeeze

Rope gliding across my skin, cinching tight, binding and freeing me, commanding my body in words it can’t ignore, releasing me from gravity for a few moments

Hands pulling my hair, dragging me to my knees, slapping my face, cradling my head, telling me in a thousand ways that I am cherished

Crass Materialism Week: Kinky Toys Edition

2009-03-06T17:51:00.003-08:00

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

For our final day of Crass Materialism, before I get all this retail madness out of my system and write about something else, it's all about the kinky toys. I am still a baby kinkster in many ways, but have built a nice little collection of toppy toys. Not complete, never complete, but enough to satisfy most of my current desires.

This Christmas I received as a gift a toy I never thought I would want: a stun gun. I am terrified of them as a bottom: they are one of the few soft limits I have with Max. Little did I know how much fun I would have zapping other people! Besides, the one Matisse gave me is so tiny and adorable, it's hard not to love it. It's about 4 inches long, a lovely pearly mauve color, and packs a 350,000 volt punch.

Of course, now I'm on the prowl for other cute little stun guns to add to my collection. They come in many shades of purple! I actually found a purple one online that boasts 2 million volts. That's probably substantially more effective against a genuine assailant, but seems a little excessive for applying to testicles or any other part of someone I like. I'll stick to under 600K, thanks.

Another recent purple acquisition was some delicious rope, a skein of Twisted Monk's Midori/AIDS Lifecycle fundraiser color "Hope". I've already mentioned how much I love the Bavarian Blonde. This is the same gorgeous stuff, but dyed a deep dark purple. I haven't tied anyone up with it yet, because I've been too busy rolling around in it (NSFW). Big thanks to Monk and his crew for supplying me with my latest hemp fix.

So what else is on my list for enhancing my reputation as a mean top? A single-tail whip, for which I'm hoping to shop at Kinkfest. Max has promised to give me some lessons as soon as I get my own whip to practice with. I'll probably get a 3 or 4 foot signal whip, which is about the longest you can reasonably swing in most indoor spaces.

I'd also like to get an ErosTek 312 someday, although that is a hefty investment at around $500, especially if I want any attachments to go with it. It's just such a neat device, and so well designed for what we do, unlike most electrical toys. What other gadget has a setting called "Orgasm"? That one I'd even play with at home by myself.

I have two sets of sounds already, of which I am inordinately fond, but there's another set I have my eye on: the Rosebuds. A traditional sound is a straight or curved cylinder, sometimes with a slightly different diameter on each end. These have a small (or not so small) oval-shaped ball on the end, which tapers to a much thinner shaft. The guys at Kinky Medical assure me that there are all kinds of neat things you can do with these, and I'm eager to explore the potential on some equally eager gentlemen.

All fancy equipment aside, I can get a lot of mileage out of a length of rope, my bare hands, and maybe a few needles. And in fact, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go do that...

Common Sense Warning: All these items can be dangerous. Know what you're doing before playing with them, and be aware of the risks.

Crass Materialism Week: Home Office Edition

2009-03-05T14:45:00.003-08:00

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

Okay, this post is going to be all about computers and office things. Most people don't think that's very sexy, although I can think of a few (you know who you are). However, I submit that my home office can be a sexy subject, because most of my computer time is spent:

1) corresponding and networking with kinky friends
2) writing blog posts
3) viewing and storing porn (sometimes of myself)
4) doing paid work that supports all of the above habits

Therefore, my office technology is very important to me!

I finally bought a desk for my apartment a couple of weeks ago. I agonized over this purchase, because I wanted it to be a perfect desk (such a thing does not exist, any more than a perfect purse), and I didn't really want to spend the money. But the absence of it was a logjam in my unpacking process, and I was getting pretty tired of the living room looking like a storage unit. So I finally bit the bullet and chose one, fit it into my very compact space, and unpacked all the office supplies into their new home.

Little did I know this simple purchase would inspire a retail frenzy (or at least a potential frenzy).

My enormous CRT monitor takes up the whole depth and much of the width of the desk, it's incredibly awkward (and physiologically problematic) to use my laptop there without a port replicator or docking station, and my desktop CPU doesn't fit in the cabinet designed for it. So, the shopping list begins: flat-screen LCD monitor, docking station. This draws my attention to the fact that I really need a better backup solution, like an external hard drive. Add that to the list. Oh yeah, I should actually start paying for wireless instead of pirating it, because the desktop won't pick up that weak signal. And of course, now it's time to face the fact that I'm overdue for a computer upgrade, because neither of my machines has enough hard drive space for my needs, and one is decidedly cranky.

Both machines were gifts, and both were lifesavers when I received them. The gift of the desktop also included a bunch of hours of data recovery and transplanting my old drive into a new box. Technically the price of this was meant to be me dancing around wearing nothing but Cool Whip, but I never paid up, so let's call it free and incredibly generous. (Thanks, M!) It has done the job, but it has some chronic hardware issues and the noisiest fan on earth. The laptop arrived in my life just as the finicky desktop was starting to drive me completely nuts, and saved my bacon during my move. (Thanks, H!) I hadn't even started up the desktop since October.

After noodling around with a number of options, I think I'm resigned to shopping for a new laptop, and ditching the desktop entirely in favor of a semi-permanent docking setup for working at home. I love my Thinkpad, and I'm looking at getting another one, unless I find something I like better. They offer big hard drives as an add-on, big enough that I can have all my data in one place with room to grow. I'm still debating other features to figure out just how much machine I need.

So my relatively modest desk purchase suddenly spiraled into a pretty hefty shopping list. Each piece on its own isn't too bad, but the bottom line is a little daunting. Some of that can wait indefinitely (I can live with a big-ass monitor), but now that I have my eye on a new laptop I'm eager to squeeze it into my budget before something catastrophic makes it a necessity. Somehow this doesn't thrill me as much as shopping for naughty underwear.

Of course, in the process of all the web research, I started looking at the iPhone and the Android G2. A new phone is definitely at the bottom of the priority list, but still, it can't hurt to look...

Crass Materialism Week: Naughty Underwear Edition

2009-03-04T16:15:00.003-08:00

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

I may have a panties problem. I like to think of it as a feature, but the quantitative evidence may be against me on this one. It seems I can never go shopping without returning with at least a pair or two. Underwear shopping is one of my favorite ways of pampering myself (and receiving underwear as a gift is just as nice). I used to live near a fetish fashion boutique, and every time I felt a bit sad, I would walk over and paw through their bargain bin for pick-me-up panties.

I went on a big lingerie binge a few weeks ago, and my delicates drawer is starting to overflow. That's not even counting all the bras, top and bottom sets, corsets, and stockings! I had to dump out the whole drawer this morning to find the pair I was looking for. You may notice that, despite a wide variety of colors, the collection leans noticeably to the purple.

It might be time for a little culling. But the way I see it, a girl can never have too many pairs of panties. A pair or ten for any occasion seems perfectly reasonable. Briefs, thongs, boy shorts, lacy, sheer, seamless, microfiber, cutesy, sexy, barely there - I love them all, and my collection is broad (although I prefer if that doesn't describe the measurement). Even with my overabundance of underthings, I'm always on the lookout for a fun new style or yet another perfect black pair.

I took a quick self-portrait this morning of my current favorite pair. It turned out surprisingly artsy (and probably PG-13). Max likes to say my butt is in jail when I wear these, thanks to the vertical stripes. I didn't buy the matching bra, but I like the bottoms so much, I'm thinking I should complete the set.

And now I want to talk about shoes. I know yesterday's post was all about shoes, but panties and shoes are two areas in which I lose all restraint. Luckily that constitutes a whole outfit in most of the places I hang out!

I got a darling pair of satin sandals recently, and have been wearing them at every opportunity. Rather like the panties, this girl can never have too many pairs of black strappy sandals.

Sometimes I find a pair I can't quite see myself wearing, but wow, what a striking look. They just screamed "kinky" at me when I saw them. Don't they remind you of a cock cage? They're even called "Chastity"!. I seem to have a little shwing for shoes featuring zippers - see the zipper up the back of these?

Crass Materialism Week: Kinky Boots Edition

2009-03-03T12:53:00.003-08:00

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

Today we venture into serious lust. I never thought I was much of a shoe person, and I wouldn't consider it a fetish of mine, but there sure are a lot of shoes and boots out there that make me drool on my keyboard. My current obsession is knee-high high-heeled black leather boots. Can you believe I don't own a single pair? That seems like a serious lapse in a kinky leather-loving femme.

I've been window shopping across the spectrum, from the most basic to the most outlandish.

This pair from is on the basic end: sexy but simple, comfortable enough to wear all whole day - and unfortunately, unavailable in my size. A friend introduced me to this line, the lovechild of Cole Haan and Nike Air.

This pair is pretty much the opposite end of the spectrum: frivolous, evocative, more sandals than boots, the kind of shoe you build your whole outfit around, with heels high enough to make walking prohibitive. And ooh, they're hot.

Veering back into the reasonably wearable, we have the slightly old-fashioned lace-ups, perfect for a licentious librarian.

This pair is much more dramatic, and makes me feel toppy just looking at them. These boots are not made for walking. They are made for stepping on faces. They are made to be licked.

I fell madly in love with this last pair as soon as I saw them. The infatuation was short-lived, ending when I realized they're not quite as cool as they look: they have a concealed side zipper, and the ziparound is only for ornamentation. The concept is still amazing but maybe I'll hold out for a boot that really does zip all the way around.

Crass Materialism Week: Convention Edition

2009-03-02T10:03:00.003-08:00

It's Crass Materialism Week here in LittleRopeWorld, where I lust after things I want, celebrate those I've already splurged on, and tempt the weak-willed to follow me into retail gluttony.

It's officially convention planning season around here, and while I know conventions do run year-round all over the country, somehow the ones I go to seem to pile up in spring. Technically this barely falls under materialism, but lordy, do I seem to spend a lot of money when I go to these things.

Kinkfest: Definitely going, already registered and have my hotel room reserved. And it's a lucky thing I do, because the convention is sold out. Sorry, everyone else! This is a fun con because 1) it's within driving distance, so I can overpack shamelessly 2) it's a largely hometown crowd, with a big Seattle contingent and a bunch of friends and acquaintances attending from around the Northwest and 3) I really like the arrangement of the vendor area, which has a bunch of social space. I tend to spend a lot of time there, people-watching, chatting with friends, watching the bootblack, and eying merchandise that I might just need to have after all. I'm also hoping to look at single-tail whips this year, in pursuit of learning to use one.

Shibaricon: This one is still undecided. I went last year and enjoyed myself, but after totaling up the expenses, this is a pricey event. It's in Chicago, so there's airfare, and it's a 4-day event, which means extra fun - and extra hotel nights/meals/expenses. There's also the matter of the other group hosted in the hotel that weekend, which was not a major issue last year, but always has the potential to become unpleasant. If Max goes, I will seriously considering going with him, regardless of the cost. If you're primarily a rope lover, and are looking for a national con to attend, I highly recommend it. You'll meet very neat people from all over the world, learn plenty from a wide range of presenters, and see all the rope bondage you could wish for in the dungeon.

Norwescon: Also undecided. Not a kinky convention at all, although there is plenty of crossover between the BDSM/poly and sci-fi/fantasy folks. In fact, Norwescon always features several adult lifestyle panels, usually led by friends of mine. I went once, in 2006, and had a great time. It's held near Sea-Tac Airport, so I could theoretically drive home at night, which would save me the cost of a hotel room (although I've never been to a con where I actually wanted to leave at night, or get up in the morning, dress up, and drive back). I don't spend a ton of time with most of my geek friends, but it would be fun to spend a weekend fixing that and indulging in some geekery of my own. Downsides: it's sandwiched between Kinkfest and the Two-Day Intensive, and while there's a weekend on each side, that's still a lot of time to commit to events that will leave me very tired. The con hotel block is sold out, so if I did decide to stay I'd be paying a premium or staying down the street - I did the latter last time, and while it worked okay, I don't relish the idea of walking down that street wearing what I wore last time. On that subject, I would feel compelled to create at least a couple of costumes, which is not so much a thing for kinky cons. Much of the programming I want to see is scheduled for Friday evening, and I unthinkingly bought tickets for music show in Seattle the same night, which I'm pretty excited to see. And finally, I don't think I could drag Max anywhere near such an event, so I'd be on my own, which means a) no Max (sad) and b) more opportunities to hang out and flirt with other people (happy).

If anyone wants to try to talk me into the latter two, I'm always open to persuasion...

I couldn't make this stuff up

2009-02-28T13:23:00.005-08:00

Max and I were sitting around together at our computers a couple of nights ago...

Me: Hey, that graphic looks like some work by FormerLover*! But he did it better. I wonder if I can find his website?

(I web-surf and mutter to myself as I find the site. Max is focused on other things, only barely listening.)

Me: Yeah, see? Much better work. Hey, there's a picture of me! Wow, that was a long time ago. I wonder what he's up to?

Max: Wait, so who is this person again?

Me: Oh, FormerLover, from college! I think he lives in Portland now, digs indie music, used to make crazy PVC accessories...Oh yeah, and he's into ObscureHobby**.

Max: Really? I read an article in the paper this week about an ObscureHobby competition in Seattle. You should look it up.

(I surf around and find the article.)

Me: Sir? That's a picture of FormerLover at the top of the article.

Max: You're kidding.

Me: Nope. His hair was that crazy when I was fucking him, too.

* Details have been changed to protect the innocent - or at least, to obscure the identity of the guilty.

** This hobby is pretty obscure, which is why I'm not revealing it, but there are actually other people who do it, it's not like he's the only one.

Upcoming Events

2009-02-27T17:57:00.001-08:00

Remember, this Sunday, March 1st is another of Max's fabulous Bondage Workshops. This month's topic is Mean Rope: Rope Skills for Sadists and Masochists. This is a brand new workshop - even I don't know what will be presented, although I bet some of the techniques will look awfully familiar, since Max is pretty mean when he plays with me. Expect lots of sexy and sadistic demos - which will include yours truly in the nude, as well as opportunities for other brave demo bottoms - and a bit of hands-on practice. If you're a CSPC member, we hope to see you at the Bondage is the Point party in the evening.

(And looking forward to May, Mark Yu will be in town to teach a few workshops - check out Max's website for all the info.)

*****

Monday is Ladies' Night at the Little Red Day Spa - watch Sophia's Spa blog for details and updates. I'll be there, soaking the workshop and party out of my sore bod.

****

And here's an exciting announcement: Max's next Two-Day Bondage Intensive in Seattle will be April 25-26, and registration will open in a few days. (ETA: Registration is open! Jump to it!)

In 13 hours of focused instruction and practice, Max takes you from the most basic knots to full rope suspension. It's suitable for all genders, orientations, and skill levels - no experience required. If you've ever wanted to learn rope bondage from one of the best riggers in the country, this is your chance. In two jam-packed days, this workshop goes from square knots to suspension. I took this workshop in Seattle in April 2006 as a complete novice (and an avowed bottom), and by the end of the weekend I felt confident about planning and executing a good rope scene as a top.

2009-02-26T10:35:00.002-08:00

I finally got around to joining Fetlife last week. It's been called the Facebook for kinksters, and from what I've seen of both sites, that's fairly accurate. It's definitely more geared to social networking than to dating, which is refreshing in a kinky website, although I'm sure you can find a date there too. Most of my kinky friends joined months ago, but I've been dragging my feet. It's been amusing so far, but I'm not sure how much time I'll spend there.

For starters, I definitely won't be blogging there - that's what this space is for, and I don't post very often as it is. I'm also using Fetlife exclusively to connect with people I already know in real life, people I consider friends - and I already have online connections with most of them, via blogs or other social networking sites. (That said, if we're friends, you can find me there as littleropegirl. If we're not friends, don't be offended if I don't add you.) Plus, it seems like yet another marketplace for online drama, which just doesn't do it for me.

Finally, and perhaps more broadly, how much time do I want to spend on "social media", and how much do I really need to know about my friends, and they about me? Is that kind of constant update actually enhancing my life and my experience of these people, or filling my already-crowded head with fluff and compromising my privacy? Here's an article on that very subject, ambient awareness. The author seems to feel guardedly positive about this particular kind of online culture. Call me a stick in the mud - trust me, I'm starting to feel cranky about the damn young people and their newfangled technology - but I'm not crazy about these developments. I've chosen not to Twitter and rarely read other people's Twits, I don't have a Facebook account, and I don't do any instant messaging. This sort of thing probably would have thrilled me in college, when I did a lot more chatting and so forth, but at this point, reading about people's sandwiches makes me yawn.

Nevertheless, there I am on Fetlife. Who knows, maybe it will soon feel indispensable, just like browser tabs and refreshing the Slog every 3 minutes.

And in an unrelated technology note, I've heard from an iPhone user that this color scheme is nigh unreadable on the iPhone screen. Are others experiencing that or similar problems? Are there enough of you to sacrifice my beautiful purple background?

2009-02-12T10:59:00.003-08:00

I've sure been sleeping a lot lately. I'm not sick anymore, but I'm still sleeping up to 18 hours a day when I have the opportunity. Last night I got home from work at 6 PM, scarfed some dinner, and slept through to 8 AM with only a small break to stagger to the bathroom and take out my contacts. Oh no, maybe I have the Yuppie Flu! (Probably not, but wow, I'm tired of being tired.)

Between the weeks of sickness and a little upsurge at the day job, there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. While all the sleeping has been a great opportunity for more hot dreams (last night's included one featuring Alan Rickman ass-fucking a woman covered in blue mud), it also means I'm behind in pretty much every other aspect of my life. Behind on blogging, behind on emails, behind on paperwork, behind on unpacking (yup, still unpacking at my new apartment), behind on work. If I owe you correspondence or time, trust me, it's weighing heavily on my mind, and I'll eventually get around to it.

There is one area in which I've been getting caught up: service for Max. We've developed quite a backlog for the aforementioned reasons, and also because we tend to have more appealing things to do when we have any time together. However, I'm proud to say I'm plowing through our lists, and have completed some projects. Here's one: relocating and organizing the wine cellar. This took more work and time than one might think, but it's finally done. Naturally, it also included a spreadsheet. Yeah, we're nerds.

If you enbiggen the second one, you may notice that the second shelf is devoted to piercing supply storage. Wine and needles - what a perfect combination!

Reminder to the Ladies

2009-02-02T12:16:00.004-08:00

I mentioned this to a bunch of people this weekend, so here's your reminder.

Tonight is Ladies' Night at the Little Red Day Spa - check out Sophia's Spa blog for all the details.

Buffie and I have been going to these lovely drop-in nights since they started, and it is the perfect way to start the week. Come relax and socialize with us in this warm and welcoming women-only space!

Bang Recap

2009-01-31T23:17:00.002-08:00

The Bang for the Buck evening started rather badly, as there was a large car accident near the venue that snarled traffic for hours, and probably impacted attendance. Nevertheless, more than 200 people showed up, and those intrepid women were extra enthusiastic and committed to seeing nekkid girls (and supporting AIDS Lifecycle). Seriously, women: mark your calendars for next year! There is no earthly reason you should miss this event.

I cannot even begin to describe the wealth of wonderful performances. Pro, amateur, cute, sexy, sultry, elaborately planned, first-time, silly, passionate, formal - they covered the whole spectrum, with performers of all ages, body types, and orientations. The energy of the crowd, shrieking, clapping, throwing dollar bills, was incredible - I have never seen such a fun and supportive atmosphere anywhere but these parties.

I brought an enormous toy bag for the play party, which was overly ambitious. In retrospect, I should have known better after last year, although I suffered no injuries this year. By the end of the strip, my friends and I were all exhausted, and not even the gorgeous eye candy all around me could rouse my toppy side. The only thing that kept us from leaving right away was waiting for raffle prize drawings, on the off-chance that we might score one of the fabulous prizes. The tickets were $1 per ticket, or $10 for an inseam or bust measurement. Well, I'm glad we waited. Of my 30-odd tickets (2 inseams), I won 11 raffle prizes, until it was starting to become ridiculous and I needed 2 bags to carry them all. I must have the luckiest inseam in the world.

Thanks to Midori, Kelly B, Miss Indigo Blue, and Lydia McLane, the charming hosts, for putting the whole Bang together each year. You are amazing! Big thanks to the volunteer crew, working tirelessly so we can suck, fuck, scream, and play in comfort. And an extra-special thank you this year to the sponsors, for donating all my lovely prizes - and also to the ravishing volunteer who got every possible inch of tickets from my inseam, much to our mutual titillation.

***

Oh yeah, I heard there's some sports game thing on TV tomorrow. But wouldn't it be more fun to come tie each other up with Midori?

All Banged Out

2009-01-31T01:41:00.003-08:00

I just got home from the Bang, and am way too tired to put together a coherent post, so I will just say: wow, what a rockin' party. Women, if you missed it, you missed out. More details and stories tomorrow...

Dream Lover

2009-01-27T13:04:00.004-08:00

Maybe it's all the Nyquill I've taken in the last several weeks, but I've been dreaming more intensely than usual. Then again, maybe there's something in the air - both Goose and Hannah have had big crazy dreams lately, too.

Even at normal times I am a prolific dreamer. I remember at least parts of my dreams almost every night, and they are often so vivid and complex that I wake up exhausted, as if I have really been living a nighttime life. I dream of old friends, of lovers, of places I've been or never been. Some of my unreal dreamscapes have appeared dozens of times, until they are as familiar as reality when I find myself in them again. Sometimes my dreams are embarrassingly transparent commentary on my current life situation, and particularly obvious ones have led me to make decisions I had been avoiding.

What's notable lately is the upswing in both nightmares and erotic dreams. These nightmares are not the terrifying stuff of childhood - no crying or screaming or cold sweat - but are disturbing enough to wake me and keep me from sleeping again. The sexy ones, on the other hand...yum. For whatever reason erotic dreams are usually so rare for me as to be nearly nonexistent. Now they're popping up several times a week. Dear my psyche: I am in favor of this! Keep 'em coming!

I'm not going to describe them in detail here, in part because I'm blushing just thinking about some of the scenarios my slumbering brain has created. Besides, a girl has to have some secrets, and I wouldn't want to face some of the unknowing players after they'd read the salacious details.

So far they have mainly featured former lovers, people from way back in my past. Those always leave me with a slightly surreal feeling, and an urge to get back in touch with those paramours. But a small number have featured people I know now, with whom I do not have sexual relationships, and those tend to be the realistic dreams, the kind that leave you wondering the next day whether the encounter really happened. Let me tell you, there is nothing like a saucy dream to catapult a person from my "friend" category into my "potential lover" category. In my lifestyle those categories are relatively fluid anyway, and I'm not going to leap on anyone purely on the basis of a hot dream, but I'm certainly going to look at them in a new light and with considerably more interest.

As a matter of fact, a dream was one of the reasons I approached Max for a first date. I thought he was talented and likable, but after I dreamed about him, I found him absolutely compelling. The power and potency of that dream overwhelmed my usual shyness and helped me take the first step into this amazing relationship. Max turned up in my dreams almost every night for the first year I was his girl.

Regardless of the characters, the best part of my latest erotic dreams is the way they ignite my libido and renew the passion I bring to my relationship with Max. But who's to say they won't also introduce other wonderful things into my life? What do you think - should I tell my dream lovers about our nighttime escapades?

Midori in Seattle

2009-01-27T12:33:00.005-08:00

The fabulous Fetish Diva Midori will be in Seattle this weekend, and her schedule is jam-packed with great events. (Side note: eek, so much to do before she arrives!) She is a charming houseguest, and I'm looking forward to seeing her and Kelly.

On Thursday Max will be hosting An Intimate Evening with Midori, a private dinner party where you'll have the opportunity to chat and mingle with Midori one-on-one, or get your copy of her book signed. Pre-registration is required for this event, and closes today, so get moving if you want to attend. Edit: This event is sold out.

For ladies only, Friday will be the infamous Bang4theBuck. I won't be stripping, but will definitely be there catcalling. I can't wait to see what the other girls and bois have planned!

Saturday evening Midori will be teaching a sex bondage workshop at Babeland. I don't know what she'll be covering, but you can bet it will be hot.

On Sunday, Max's Bondage Workshop Series will feature Midori's Hands-On Body Harnesses at the CSPC. A little more about this one...

Body harnesses are fantastic for creating beautiful, effective and sexy bondage for all types of bodies and many different sorts of scenes.

You can use a harness for very secure rigging. Or you can make a pretty rope outfit. Create intense harnesses for pain sluts. How about sensual breast bondage?

We'll go through at least five different harnesses with plenty of time to practice. If time permits we'll show you more!

I'm looking forward to learning a few new tricks to enhance my own rope bondage work. Maybe I'll even apply my new skills at the party afterward - unless, of course, Max gets to me first.

Really not porn

2009-01-26T18:20:00.003-08:00

I've been amusing myself today by reading about, and watching snippets of, IFC's 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema - and for counterpoint, their 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema. Both lists run the gamut, in my opinion, from the sublime to the truly bizarre, and while I didn't count, I think there were more clips available on the "Worst" list. For sheer weirdness factor, my favorite was the clip from The Man Who Fell to Earth. (Warning, this video starts automatically and includes drunken gun play and David Bowie's penis.)

Nerve, which co-presented the lists, has compiled an excellent database of Hollywood sex scenes, which was big fun to peruse. My only complaint is that the videos hosted by Nerve Video (rather than YouTube or other sources) don't feature decent buffering, so if you're on a shaky wireless connection, it's pretty jumpy.

Totally unrelated, here's a fun video for Valentine's Day from Agent Provocateur Lingerie. Warning: this one also starts automatically, with loud sound. Definitely worth checking out if you like lingerie, bondage, and a good laugh.

It should go without saying that none of this is safe for work. Good thing I was working from home today...

Happy Naked Christmas Monkeys

2009-01-09T14:06:00.005-08:00

I'm still sick, so while I continue to recuperate, enjoy some holiday cheer.

Naked Christmas Cookies!

(click for the big version)

Well, topless at least. And yes, some of them are monkey shaped. Very festive, I thought. Tasty, too: Peppermint Butter Cookies, my new favorite holiday recipe.

2009-01-07T21:50:00.004-08:00

I am in the throes of a terrible cold, so am not feeling very creative or sexy right now. I think the worst is over and I'm on my way back up: as of today, I can stay awake for several hours at a stretch, and can focus long enough to read (and write) quite long sentences. I win!

Luckily this virus didn't thump me until after New Year's Eve, and I celebrated to the utmost. No bells this year, but plenty of champagne and conversation. I got my flirt on in a big way - for much of the past couple of years, my flirt meter has been set to "Off" or "Low" so it felt really good to be in a place to crank it up to "Crazy High". Eventually I grabbed Sparkletoes for a much-delayed needle scene. And may I just say, daaaaaayum, that girl is tough? Some 65 needles later (including some 16 gauge and some 3" spinal tap needles), we closed down the party. Unusually, I didn't bottom at all, as Max was working through his own bout of illness.

The snow is finally gone (hurray!) although it made a brief and unwelcome appearance on Sunday, for just long enough to scuttle my plans for the Bondage Party. Actually, that was the second thwarted plan of the weekend. Buffie and I went out to the Women's Party on Friday night with the intention of pouncing on a sweet young thing, but she didn't show. Giggles, where where you? I thought we had a date!

More Snow

2008-12-21T20:18:00.002-08:00

But no more naked girl.

And still coming down...

Snow Day

2008-12-20T18:39:00.002-08:00

So everybody probably knows it's been snowing in Seattle.

I am the kind of girl who has been dressed in four layers since last week, with two pairs of socks inside my snow boots when I absolutely had to leave the house.

Therefore it is notable (and characteristic of our D/s dynamic) that when Max said, "Put on your boots and get the newspaper," yesterday morning, I obeyed without question. (Photo NSFW.) Sometimes he is a very mean man. It was about as cold as I expected, but I have to say, his delight made it worthwhile.

Now, however, I am firmly ensconced in my toasty apartment, watching the snow through the window. I am well stocked with groceries, hot cocoa, movies, projects, books, and anything else I might need to wait out a few snow days. Of course, if the power goes out, that will be a different story. Cross your fingers for me.

Back to Business

2008-12-02T12:59:00.003-08:00

I spent last week in the throes of a parental holiday visit. I love my family, and I'm very thankful for the good relationships we have, but wow, these visits are exhausting. The family dynamics always require a lot of deep-breathing and biting my tongue. My saintly sister did most of the actual hosting, for which I salute her. I do have to offer several rounds of applause to my mother: she rose magnificently to the challenge of serving Thanksgiving to a mixed group of omnivores, vegetarians, lactose-intolerants, and non-carb-eaters; she didn't bat at eye at the array of poly partners her daughters invited; and she (and my sisters) agreed to celebrate on Wednesday so I could spend Thursday with Max and the outlaws.

Now that's done, and I got right back to the business of my kinky life with a play party on Saturday and a "Try It, You'll Like It" event on Sunday. For people not familiar with these, they are an opportunity for curious folks to try various BDSM activities in a safe, low-pressure environment. Max and I have volunteered for a couple of these, offering short "tastes" of rope bondage and electrical play. It's big fun to meet new people and watch them experience these things for the first time. And while it's mainly geared toward the educational, there are occasional opportunities for unleashing my sadistic glee...just ask the lovely individuals on the hot end of the stun gun.

So, hello and welcome to the people I met on Sunday! If you liked the rope play, please consider checking out Max's Rope Bondage 201 workshop next weekend, or coming to the Bondage party afterward.

KOMOphobes

2008-11-18T10:32:00.004-08:00

Like most of my local friends, I watched last night's KOMO News story smearing the Wet Spot (aka CSPC), and spent the morning writing the station an outraged letter. It was sloppy reporting full of misinformation and downright lies, designed to fuel sex-negative hysteria among the local masses. Seriously, guys - "Sex Club Controversy"? After a decade of operation, there is no controversy, other than that which you have just created! If you're outraged too, please consider giving them a piece of your mind.

Check out the Slog's piece for more commentary. (Edited to add: here's another post there.) And if you haven't yet, check out the Center's web site for more factual information.

Update: The story, video, and comments have all been removed from KOMO's web site, although the video is still up on YouTube and the Slog. I was watching the comments on the article this morning, and they were 95% sex positive or critical of the reporting - thanks, sensible people! I guess KOMO can't take their spankings...

Denver: Days 1 and 2

2008-10-11T21:09:00.003-07:00

Thursday: Woke up at 3:15 AM for a 6:10 flight. I didn't even know my alarm clock went to that hour. Upon arrival in Denver, Max and I slept for several hours, then met up with a non-kinky college friend of mine and had Mexican food and cupcakes. Note to cupcake lovers: The Shoppe in Denver beats both Cupcake Royale and Trophy Cupcakes all to hell.

Friday: Woke up at 8:20 AM to the sultry sounds of a fire alarm in the hotel, complete with seizure-inducing strobe lights. We groggily stumbled our way out to the parking lot, thanking our lucky stars that the event producers weren't in the hotel yet - I don't want to imagine the panic. I never heard the full story, but there was actually smoke on the first floor, so I think there was a real fire. We were allowed back in about 30 minutes later, and got back into bed until breakfast time.

We headed out for a greasy spoon breakfast, followed by a troll of the local leather shops. Max got some very hot new chaps from CJ's Leather, and I got some sexy birthday doodads for Buffie at Heaven Sent Me. Big fun. And all this before the convention officially started!

I'll write more on the actual convention later, but I will say this: instead of the Chinook Room or the Cascade Room, we're meeting in the Shorthorn Room and the Hereford Room. (For all of you urban children, those are breeds of cattle.) We're not in Seattle anymore, Toto.

Portland Bondage Intensive

2008-10-05T12:45:00.003-07:00

I keep forgetting to mention this, but in a few weeks Max will be teaching his fabulous 2-Day Bondage Intensive in Portland, OR. I'll be there to assist, and probably to get naked, too.

In 13 hours of focused instruction and practice, Max takes you from the most basic knots to full rope suspension. It's suitable for all genders, orientations, and skill levels - no experience required. Seattle folks: Max won't be producing another Intensive in Seattle this fall, so if you've been wanting to take it, consider traveling to Portland for this one.

Today is the last day for early-bird registration (at a discounted price), and the class is filling up fast, so get registered now!

2008-09-19T09:58:00.003-07:00

Birthday Month continues apace! I am a big fan of celebrating, so why limit it to one special day?

This month has been a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with friends, eat tasty food, and have big fun. I received an extremely nasty birthday suspension (and have I mentioned lately how much I love Max?), a fierce birthday spanking a couple of days later, and have been showered with purple things. If you haven't noticed, I am utterly devoted to purple things. I even got the dress I have been lusting after. (A big thank you to that friend!)

Tonight a friend and I get to try a new restaurant - I've been wanting to check this out since it opened, but just never got around to it. And tomorrow I'll have a whole gang of kinky ladies at my house drinking champagne and getting up to mischief. I don't know about them, but I'll be wearing pajamas and a tiara. Feel free to use your imagination...

Change in the Air

2008-09-03T09:29:00.002-07:00

It's a season of change around here. Autumn is definitely on its way in Seattle, summer is suddenly over. I'm not quite ready for it to go, sun-worshiper that I am. Election season is in full swing, school zones are slowing me to 20 mph, and I'm thinking ahead to the dark mornings that are coming.

But mostly, the change is in my own life. For a long time things have been fairly static, and now it's all happening at once. I don't talk much about my day job here, but the company I work for is closing, so I'm looking for a new job. I'm also apartment hunting - my living situation is long overdue for a change, and I've been putting it off until now, but it's time. There have been deaths in my family recently, and some challenging personal FGOs. All in all, it feels like a tornado is picking up my life and I'm not sure where all the pieces are going to land. Or a tidal wave is crashing down, and only time will tell what it sweeps away and what flotsom will wash up onshore afterward. For all the disaster connotations, I feel very hopeful for what will come next, and am looking at all this as an opportunity for my life to get better and better.

And, my birthday is coming up this week. Time to launch into my next year with a whole new life plan! As luck would have it, my birthday coincides with the monthly bondage party at the CSPC, so I'll get to celebrate by serving Max at his workshop, then seeing a bunch of my ropey friends at the party. Maybe I'll bring cupcakes. And I bet Max and I will play, which is just about the best gift I could ask for.

2008-08-26T16:50:00.002-07:00

I'm back from my long weekend away, and what a nice weekend it was! I definitely needed the break. I spent the whole time relaxing and de-stressing, drinking sparkling wine (out of a can, no less), cooking and eating good food, and enjoying Max's company. Aah, vacation.

I got all mellow and rested, just in time to come back and find my whole life in a state of acute flux. Change is in the air around here, and I am right in the middle of it. Hope that it will all resolve in my favor soon with a minimum of fuss. I'm sure all this stimulation will be good for my life in the long run, right? Right?

Oh - super late notice, I know, but tonight Max and I will be out at Paradise where he'll be teaching Introduction to Rope Bondage at 7:30. He'll also be teaching his popular Topping to the Next Level workshop on Sunday afternoon, after which we're hoping to do some fun outdoor play. I can't guarantee naked girl tonight, because it might be too chilly, but I'm crossing my fingers. (You need to be registered for Paradise to attend either workshop.)

2008-08-24T00:10:00.002-07:00

So now you may be wondering, "Did you play at that party, or just pose?"

With Max around, and a very high ceiling, are you kidding? Of course somebody had to go flying! (As a side note, there were a bunch of sizzling and extremely nasty scenes going on that night - thanks to my friends for providing some hot fantasy fodder. You people are twisted, and I love you!)

Here is a (NSFW) shot of me dangling from the million foot high ceiling.

Perhaps I'm exaggerating. Maybe it was only 500 feet. Pretty goddamn tall, anyway, and it seemed to take forever to get all the way up there. Once up, it was fun to catch eyes in the distant crowd - one friend even flashed me, hooray! Then I couldn't stop giggling, which was perhaps not very dignified. I spent the rest of the evening stumbling around in a slightly stoned, post-play daze.

I know, this is old news - several weeks old, ancient in the blogging age - but thanks to Monk and the Abbey for throwing such a rocking party!

Scenes from the Apocalypse

2008-08-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

So I recently went to an Apocalypse-themed play party.

The costume I made is based directly on Leeloo's outfit from The Fifth Element, although I did not aim for the character, just the clothes (i.e. no red hair or props). Of course, with a few additions, I'm sure I could go all-out as Leeloo at Norwescon if I ever go again. I think it turned out really well, and was a ton of fun to wear, so I'm looking for excuses to wear it again!

The Fifth Element isn't technically apocalyptic, because they save the world at the end, right? But it's a near miss, so I figure it counts. Besides, I love love love the outfit, which was excuse enough.

(Photos are scantily-clad but not graphic - your work-safeness will depend on your work.)

From the front

And from the back

from Post Secret

2008-08-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

This made me smile when I saw it on Post Secret this week. Give it a try, buddy!

It always surprises me to remember that not everyone keeps rope next to the bed or needles in the nightstand. I guess I'm just firmly twisted.

With a Little Help From My Friends...

2008-08-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

After another hiatus, hey, I'm back again! Sorry, friends, it's been a crazy time.

The big (non-kinky) news around here is that I recently bought a car. My faithful old college beater finally gave up the ghost a few weeks ago. I flirted briefly with the idea of becoming a full-time bus chick, but that really doesn't suit my life as it is right now. So as of last week I'm the proud owner of a Ford Taurus - more reliable than sexy, but a nice smooth ride, and it gets me where I want to go. Thanks to some helpful and generous friends for the assistance that made this possible! Next project: apartment hunting.

And of course, now that I'm recommitted to writing here, I'll be out of town with no internet for a few days. But I've just discovered the miraculous "post date" feature, so I'm lining up a few low-substance posts. Stayed tuned for fun photos...

Quick post from Chicago

2008-05-25T06:21:00.002-07:00

We made it to Chicago uneventfully, and are heading into our third day of Shibaricon. Max taught one workshop yesterday (which was fantastic, of course) and will do one more today. I've been having a great time going to workshops, meeting new people, catching up with out-of-town friends, and playing with rope. Well, mostly rope. I topped an utterly delicious scene last night that included a bunch of needles, too.

But to borrow a phrase from Max, cons are little pressure cookers. I'm definitely struggling to pace myself, to get enough sleep and remember to eat, to not get overwhelmed by social time, and to manage my own physical and emotional energy level. This is a long con - 3 1/2 days of workshops, 3 dungeon nights - and it would be easy to burn out early. Which would be a shame, since I have some ridiculously fun plans for tonight...

The last several months, in 25 words or less

2008-05-20T12:49:00.002-07:00

Worked too much, longest winter ever, poly is hard, mostly good Kinkfest, chronic pain, crazy travel, new rope, happy birthday Max, goodbye piercings, finally spring.

(The first step is the hardest. I'm hoping to get back to posting more regularly. Meanwhile, I'll see some of you at Shibaricon this weekend!)

Escape

2008-03-20T20:55:00.003-08:00

Wow, I haven't been keeping up my blogging lately. My life has been very full lately, and mostly with my (boring to read) day job. The ol' creative juices have been pretty dry, and after a day of staring at a screen at work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is fire up my own computer.

But this weekend I have escaped to California, to assist Max with the workshop he's teaching. It seems silly that I had to leave Seattle to find time to kick back at home and relax - a friend's home, anyway. This is a working weekend, not a vacation, but it still feels like we're running away together for at least a short time. It will be a nice change to do nothing but handle rope all weekend. We may even find time for some canoodling.

And can I just say that it's sunny and warm here? Not tropical, but definitely spring. That's a nice change.

Bang Bang

2008-03-01T09:01:00.002-08:00

Last night was the Bang 4 the Buck here in Seattle - so if you wondered where all the ladies were last night, that's where. I heard at one point that there were more than 200 women in that room, wow!

This was my first Bang. Some of you may know I have a little crowd thing (not quite anxiety attack level, but I find it daunting and draining), and when I stepped into a room that full of rowdy women, I almost turned right back around and left. I'm glad I stayed, of course. I braved the mayhem to snuggle in with a bunch of my rope-loving lady friends (including the Twisted Monk crew). I got fired up myself and had a great time cheering and screaming for the hotties baring it all onstage - including some of the selfsame rope ladies, two duos of whom were in the top 3 earners at the end of the night.

I did have one battle wound by the end - a bloody lip. Doesn't that sound nearly innocent? Okay, maybe not. Perhaps I was up close to the stage watching a charming butch of my aquaintance as she stripped. I might have been wiggling and making provocative noises. Perhaps I had a dollar bill in my mouth. Just possibly I deserved to be bitten. I'm sure it was an accident, but in any case, it started bleeding and didn't stop for a good long time. It didn't put a damper on my fun, not a bit, but did require a quick trip to the restroom for a cold compress before returning to cheer (and throw money) for more nudity.

Unfortunately, by the time the play party started, I was pretty used up. I stayed for a while to socialize with my buds, and met a few new people, but I was pretty ready for bed. I feel like I've betrayed my ever-growing lecherous side. There were plenty of tasty morsels bouncing around positively begging to be pounced on, and I didn't even bring my toy bag in from the car. I think that was the right decision - this is a very busy weekend (remember Midori's workshops!) and I just didn't have enough energy to launch a scene - but egads, all the pretty bois and girls! Where are all of you during the monthly Women's Parties? Come out to play again!

Big thanks to Midori, Kelly B, Indigo Blue, and Lydia McLane (as well as all the wonderful party volunteers) for hosting this fabulous party!

Workshops on the Road

2008-02-19T11:58:00.002-08:00

Max's Two-Day Bondage Intensive goes on the road! Max will be presenting this popular workshop in Santa Clara, California on March 22nd-23rd. If you've ever wanted to learn rope bondage from one of the best riggers in the country, this is your chance. In two jam-packed days, this workshop goes from square knots to suspension. I took this workshop in Seattle in April 2006 as a complete novice (and an avowed bottom), and by the end of the weekend I felt confident about planning and executing a good rope scene as a top. Early-bird registration (with a discounted price) ends tomorrow, and registration closes for good March 17th. This event will sell out - get registered today!

Max will also be teaching workshops at Kinkfest in Portland March 28th-30th, and at Shibaricon in Chicago May 23rd-26th.

And if you're in Seattle, Max is producing a weekend of workshops by the fabulous Midori (March 1-2), which are not to be missed.

Check his web site for more info about all these workshops.

Whew! Busy spring! I'll be at all these events with Max, and am looking forward to checking out new locales and meeting other rope fans.

The Loveliness of Love

2008-02-14T15:10:00.002-08:00

I'm slightly embarrassed to confess that I have special plans today. They're not Valentine's Day plans, but they might look the same to the untrained eye. I don't have any big feelings about the holiday. I've had nice ones, I've had mediocre ones, I've worn red lingerie, I've made cute cookies, I've ignored it entirely. It helps that nobody in my little poly system makes much of a fuss over VDay. It's Thursday - that means it's my date night with Max, and nobody needs to get their knickers in a twist about it.

But even though it is a "regular" date night, we are doing something special. I'm making a nice dinner for Max tonight, then we're going out to play. The meal I'm making required a little more time, thought, and preparation, and I made a point of adding special touches, like small bouquets of flowers all over the house. At the grocery store, I joined the ranks of people buying champagne and strawberries. (I'm enough of a hedonist to indulge in those things year-round, so it's a bonus that they were on sale.) I spent yesterday evening prepping dinner and cleaning house, so all the details would be just right.

This reminds me a little of the early days of my relationship with Max. The first time he came over to my house for dinner, I spent the whole prior week obsessively cleaning every inch of the house, forcing my friends to eat the test-run of my dinner recipe, organizing the cupboards, buying new towels, rearranging the furniture, re-grouting the bathroom, and all the other little things you do when you want to make a good impression. You think I'm joking. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating about the grout. By this time he had already seen me naked, screaming, drooling, sleeping, and in any number of other vulnerable positions. But I had worked myself up into a mighty frenzy for this dinner date. Part of this was the D/s and service dynamic we were building, part of it was my ongoing perfection program, but mostly it was a new relationship, in that early stage before you ever show up in sweats or pee in front of each other or admit that you like Madonna.

The initial anxiety has cooled over time, and Max now knows all my bad habits. We sweat at the gym together, and eat plenty of plain meals in my messy home. While the flame of passion never goes out, it certainly cools to a manageable temperature, and the energy waxes and wanes. So why the ado this week? It has nothing to do with a holiday. We've been processing some relationship stuff together lately. Ah, the Personal Growth Opportunity, or FGO. We're not finished with them (is there every an end?), but we've certainly gotten things moving and flowing more smoothly. Working through challenges and big emotions together brings you closer to your partner, as you reaffirm your commitment to each other. It can be a draining and painful process, but as you'll know if you've ever had Make-up Sex, the payoff can be substantial. We haven't fought, and the benefits go way beyond the bedroom, but the power remains. I feel like our relationship has been reignited, the flame turned up to high. I find myself being more mindful about everything I do, taking pleasure in the details of service. In a relationship where service is a primary focus and virtually everything we do is foreplay, the small things can be intoxicating aphrodisiacs. In taking the extra time and care with these preparations, I get to say I Love You and I Appreciate You and I Want You and You're Special To Me over and over, not just with my voice.

And for me, that's what Valentine's Day is about. So is every other day of the year. I'm just glad that right now, today, that flame is burning so strongly.

Upcoming Topping Series

2008-02-04T15:36:00.001-08:00

Max has a bunch of workshops coming up this spring, and I'll plug a few more in coming days, but right now I want to draw your attention to some brand new material that will be debuting beginning next week.

Max (of BondageLessons.com and Russell (of Two Big Meanies and Flirts Inc) have teamed up to create a mini-series of BDSM topping workshops: Topping to the Next Level. These will be going way beyond BDSM 101 or "how to swing a flogger" - these workshops focus on the soft skills, how to construct a scene that really works and how to get what you want out of it. Both of these guys bring many years of practical (and sometimes nasty) topping experience to the table, as well as years of teaching. The challenge is to fit all that information into four workshops! The first workshop, Techniques for Thoughtful Tops, will be next Sunday, February 10th, 1-4 PM at the CSPC in Seattle, and the series will continue on the 2nd Sundays of March, April, and May with "How to Push", "Hot Negotiation", and "Topping Styles".

While some topping experience will be helpful (and advanced players will get plenty out of them), the workshops are accessible to all skill levels and are applicable to all orientations and genders. Even though they are primarily geared toward tops (and the toppy portion of switches), I think it's great for bottoms to get as much education as possible. As a bottom, you'll hear plenty of information that may help you to choose good partners, negotiate your own experience, and be thoughtful yourself about this stuff we do together.

Short, and not very sweet

2008-01-28T23:37:00.000-08:00

Note to self: suspension hardware is heavy. Don't drop it on your own toe.

Ouch

More Party Talk

2008-01-04T12:46:00.001-08:00

I have a busy day in progress, so once again, I'll point you to Matisse and her latest entry about the New Year's Eve party. There are pictures of me! There may be more coming - I need to poke through them and see if there's anything post-worthy.

Those jingle bells were fun, and of course, matched my shoes. Now I'm a little regretful at how fun they were - all the jiggling for jingling left some formidable bruises blooming on my chest. I couldn't resist jingling them myself everywhere I went. Max was having fun grabbing me from behind and shaking me hard, but he was also enjoying a more subtle form of merrymaking. I was wired up in some sensitive places (for you nosy types, there was one insertable and two surface patches), and from anywhere in the house, he could press a button on his remote and make me jingle. I was, shall we say, inspired into twitching, jumping, and occasionally augmenting the jingling with other noises. What fun!

Today is shaping up to be just as entertaining - it's a marathon play day! This afternoon I'll be seeing that charmingly naughty gentleman again. I very much enjoyed our last date, and can hardly wait for a replay. Then this evening, I have plans to poke holes in Buffie. It's been ages since we've played, and we are long overdue for a little sweet sadism. Probably some hysterical laughter too, if I know us. Afterward, I'm heading home to Max for the night. I can't imagine there will be much left of me, so it will probably be a quiet night, but there's nothing better than curling up in bed with my darling Sir.

2008-01-02T23:06:00.001-08:00

First things first: I've been meaning to post about the upcoming bondage workshops this weekend, but what with one thing and another, I haven't gotten around to it. But conveniently enough, Matisse already did it. Go read about them here!

And welcome to 2008! I rang in the new year in a thoroughly delightful fashion, surrounded by some of my very favorite people. You rock, my friends. My butt is still sore, and my chest is turning several shades of purple. I watched all sorts of titillating scenes, but the ingredients for my own personal hijinks with Max included a Superdog, needles, a little bit of rope, and jingle bells. Purple jingle bells. Days later, and I'm still feeling a little hungover - and not just from the champagne (thank you, A). The combination of champagne, sleep deprivation, and hard play is a killer every time, although a sufficient number of cute girls and boys made it well worth staying up past my bedtime.

Against all odds, I was dressed to the nines for the party (sadly, there were no pictures pre-dishevelment). I've had bad luck with dresses this year, and I always seem to be in a frenzy trying to find one that works for me. The last house party saw me wearing a last minute concoction (minus the shirt) for most of the evening. This time I just couldn't find the right thing, despite ransacking my closet and several stores - by the afternoon of the 31st I was resigned to just wrapping myself in festive tinsel and calling it good. Happily, a package arrived just in time, thanks to a generous gentleman, so I got to wear slinky Wolford instead of leftover Christmas ornaments. (Well, okay, I might have been wearing just a little bit of gift wrapping ribbon, too. And the bells, of course. I guess I was festive after all.) The best part about Wolford dresses is how versatile they are. I fielded several requests to demonstrate how to make the dress into a skirt - then into a tube top - and even one cheeky suggestion that it might look nice as a belt. Happy New Year, indeed!

Merry Christmas, All

2007-12-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

It's been a madcap December around here, as I'm sure it has been for most of you. I just spent several days out of town with my family-of-record, following a frenzied period of getting ready to leave. I've celebrated nearly all the holidays available to me. Now I'm spending some time with those I chose, my poly tribe. I firmly believe in celebrating in quantity, not just one day a year.

I have bunches of wacky stories to tell, but for now, I'll just leave you with my favorite Christmas card of the year. Kiss your loved ones!

More Nipple Adventures

2007-12-13T11:59:00.001-08:00

I never got around to blogging about it, but about 6 weeks ago we swapped out one of my nipple rings for a barbell. We made the exchange in the middle of a party, but only keen observers noticed. I was a little unsure about the whole idea - asymmetry, oh no!! Still, we were hopeful that a barbell would help that piercing heal better. That would be worth some lopsidedness.

I've been doing surprisingly well with the mismatched jewelry. I thought it would really freak me out. So far the only difference is that my breasts look different sizes. In reality, I'm pretty symmetrical, so some kind of optical illusion is tricking my eyes.

Happily, everything seems to be going so well on the barbell side that we've decided to swap out the other ring tonight. The big rings catch on things easily, and still hurt when they get flipped up and down, so I treat them gingerly. I also think they're beginning to migrate, and I'm hoping barbells will stay put. We may go back to rings when everything is fully healed (we already have a pair of smaller diameter rings). Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to going bralass, sleeping naked without discomfort, scrubbing in the shower without fear, and having sex with wild abandon.

I Win!

2007-12-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

Happy holidays to me, I won a sex toy! Thanks to Jane and Babeland, I'll be getting one of these sweet little beauties for Christmas. Sorry, friends and lovers, this is not going into anyone's stocking, only into my own warm wet places. But I'll make sure to tell you what I think of it.

Head on over to Jane's giveaway blog, and enter to win your own sexy prizes!

Upcoming Workshop: Rope Bondage 201

2007-11-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Max is teaching another of his fabulous workshops on Sunday, Rope Bondage 201. This workshop is completely suitable for people with no experience, and will help you refine your skills if you've already learned some fundamentals. It also focuses on some of the things that make a scene great instead of just okay - like pacing, connection, and showmanship.

There are few things better than watching a roomful of people learn to tie each other up. Come be one of those people! Tie people up, get tied up yourself, watch demos, and laugh at Max's jokes, all in a friendly, low-pressure, sex-positive environment! Then stick around for the party - always a good time.

Finally, some fun!

2007-11-27T22:22:00.000-08:00

My life is pretty damn good all the time, but lately it's been more along the lines of "satisfying work" and "investments in future fun" than "rampant eroticism" or "delightful amusement". That's all great, but you know what they say about all work and no play.

Luckily I have a very nice week lined up, and I am definitely ready for some play. The headliner? A naughty date with a charming man. I won't share too much here, but I am very excited to see how this scene unfolds. Our time together is never dull. In fact, I always seem to leave our encounters blushing and damp...

Poly and D/s

2007-11-26T19:04:00.000-08:00

So here's a question I got after Max and I were on Minx's Polyamory Weekly podcast. I'm not really surprised - I've been asked this one frequently, by nearly all my poly friends.

"...I was a little bit shocked when it became clear the restrictions that Max was putting on Lorelei. Specifically, that he'd started a relationship with a poly girl and appeared to have made a rule that she could not have sex nor bottom to anyone but him, even though that's what her role was in relationships when he'd met her. Was this badly put across? It seems very odd in terms of the big picture."

So what's up with this? Good question. It would be more complete to say that I don't have sex with or bottom to other people without permission. This is a D/s relationship. Yes, it's poly, but the D/s is the most important part - and I have agreed to obey the rules Max chooses. But as with all D/s relationships, this is still a relationship. There is always room for discussion, negotiation, and change. If there weren't, I wouldn't still be here.

Lest you get the wrong idea, it's worth stating that Max is the least egotistical man I've ever met. He is not driven by his ego, or by petty jealousies. He does not set rules merely for a show of power. If he sets a rule for me, it's meant to enhance our relationship and connection, never to detract from it. All the rules in our relationship work for me and us, or they wouldn't exist.

I'll tell you, I never expected to be willing to submit to this kind of rule. At other times in my life, it would have been a hard limit. In fact, when I met Max, one of my few hard limits was "missing dates with other people" - even "missing work" was lower on that list. But this is a very special relationship, and he is a special partner. He didn't demand that I leave relationships - the rules worked their way into our lives as my other partners faded from mine.

So why would he make rules like these, and why would I agree to them?

It brings us closer and intensifies our D/s dynamic. D/s is a big part of all my BDSM - it's rarely just about the sensations, and I like focusing all my submission in this one place. I am beholden to no one but him, and always a little hungry for more. Nearly all my sexual energy goes to our relationship, and there is power in that.

It keeps me safe - emotionally and physically. I wanted stronger guidelines, and needed to practice saying "no". Casual sex can and has been good for me, but it has also left me feeling bruised. If I want other partners, we'll talk about it, and they'll be vetted by him. He's been in the kink community here long enough to know most people and whether they are safe players. I feel protected and cherished, strengthened and sheltered by his care.

I'm not ready to share myself with others in those ways. Right now they are a special thing between us. I always want more of Max and probably always will, but I'm not looking for another person to fill that gap. When I do, it will change the nature of my relationship with Max in some way. Not end it, but alter it. I'm nowhere near ready to do that - I love the way I can be so wholly about him. And don't tell the feminists, but I actually like the sense of being a possession.

It keeps our poly system safe. That wouldn't stand in the way of my taking other partners, but I am certainly more thoughtful about who and how, and aware that any such choice would necessitate protracted negotiations along the daisy chain.

We get to explore things together, and many of my BDSM "firsts" have been with him. Our growing intensity allows us to delve more deeply than would be possible if I were spreading my energy and experiences elsewhere.

It keeps my schedule under control. When we met I was burning the candle at both ends, which (for me) always leads to collapse at some point. I only have so much social energy available to me. Having one intense partnership is plenty, and limiting the scope of others helps me keep a sustainable lifestyle.

I'm definitely still poly - it's more an orientation than a current choice of actions. I top other people, kiss other people, flirt, play in some delightfully light switchy ways, pursue meaningful relationships of various kinds. Someday, I'm sure things will change, and I'll pursue something else. But for now, I don't need or want more of these things, and there's nobody I'm lusting after. Frankly, Max is stiff competition.

2007-11-25T20:49:00.001-08:00

It seems that lately the sexiest thing in my life is how my day job has been fucking me over. I'm just reaching the end of a big project, and it can't be over soon enough.

But then, there's always my wonderful Sir. Even during the busiest times, he is there to support and care for me, to stimulate my imagination and soothe my body. It's difficult for me to play hard when I'm tense like this - my muscles won't unwind, my mind won't stop, and remaining in my submission takes more conscious work. So we step back a little. We guard my sleep, and make time for rest. We relax together, petting and talking. We cook together, eat together. And sometimes, such sweet times, we come together with wild abandon, dampening sheets and straining muscles.

It's not all sexy. But all of it, every single second, throbs with the D/s that drives us. Every moment holds the power between us, and the promise of more - always there, no matter how quiet, soothing, invisible. And soon, very soon, it will be time again to go to the dungeon.

Podcast

2007-11-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

As some of you have already heard, the podcast Max and I recorded with Minx is has been posted. Listen to us talk about poly, D/s, and our relationship.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't had time to listen to it yet, although I know roughly what was said (since I was saying it). I'm not about to crank it up here at the day job, so I'll listen to it later when I'm at home, and follow up in another post on some questions I've received from listeners. So if you have questions or comments after you listen, please leave a comment here!

And why haven't I listened to it yet? It's been a hell of a good weekend - so good (and busy) that I am utterly fried today. Rockin' parties, late nights, nastily nice rope scenes, champagne, a workshop, and to round things out, a touch of food poisoning last night. That was the only really bad part. I was pretty burned out by the end of the weekend anyway, and could have gone straight to bed and skipped the puking. I foresee a hot bath and an early bedtime for me tonight.

Roundup

2007-10-28T08:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy October in this kinky girl's world - this is a sort of logistical roundup. I have a few essay-type entries in the works, and I'm hoping they'll see the light of day soon.

Max's 2-Day Bondage Intensive was phenomenal. I met some wonderful rope enthusiasts, and we spent two very full days together tying people up. It's so satisfying watching people learn, and seeing that "ah ha" moment when they get it. I had assisted with one of these workshops before, but this time I felt much more confident about my own skills and ability to help, and felt much more like a teaching assistant than merely a lovely assistant. And hey, if you missed this workshop, Max is teaching a Bondage for Sex workshop next weekend. Come on down!

The next weekend was Wicked Womyn in Seattle, but with one thing and another, I ended up skipping most of the festivities. From the sounds of it, I missed a phenomenal weekend-long party. Ah well, there's always next year.

And this weekend, the Cunning Minx of the Polyamory Weekly Podcast has been in town visiting, and I got to spend quite a bit of time sitting around chatting naked with her. Max and I recorded an interview with her for the podcast, so stay tuned for more info on that...

In and around all the big scheduled activities, my days have been filled with all kinds of nice and naughty fun. I hosted an out of town friend at my house, and we had a grand old time out at the CSPC and at Babeland. I've had some intensely decadent meals, including dinner at Elemental, which must be experienced to be believed. (Think 5 hours, 6 courses, beautifully paired wine with each - a luxurious evening of conviviality and food.) I've been spending a great deal of time with Max, in all kinds of pursuits. And of course, there have been several delightful play dates and flirtations toward more. My life is pretty much delicious, even if painfully busy.

I generally have less energy during the fall and winter months, but this year my social calendar seems to be more vibrant and full than ever before. I'm needing to balance those two facts, which is always a challenge for me. I become really unpleasant and unhealthy when I don't rest enough, or get enough alone time, or take good care of myself - but there are people to play with, and friends to see, and parties to go to! (And that pesky day job!) I want to do it all! Especially when it involves pretty girls or charming men who want me to tie them up and be mean to them. Who could resist that?

Sunbathing Girl - Candid Photo!

2007-10-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a drizzly gray week in Seattle, but there have been a few precious hours of sunlight. Naturally, I dashed outside to soak up the rays, after finding a suitably private place. I spent all afternoon chasing the sunshine across the yard.

Max, sneaky guy that he is, caught a candid shot of me sunbathing.

Bondage in the Woods

2007-09-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

At long last, our outdoor road trip bondage adventure...

Finding a place was harder than one might think, but eventually we found a sturdy tree in an appropriately secluded location. None of these are work-safe, of course. We'll see what PhotoBucket thinks of them... (Edit: PhotoBucket pulled several, so I've hosted them elsewhere and updated the links.)

Getting ready to fly

Up and away!

One more in the air

Yep, I coil my own rope

Packing up to get back on the road

Road Trip Travelogue

2007-09-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are a couple more videos from the passenger seat. I get queasy just watching them. Of course, I'm a girl who can get motion sick on a porch swing. There were a few nauseating days before I finally buckled and took Dramamine.

There may be some giggling in these. Both Max and I are normally pretty quiet in the car, but when one of us starts laughing, the other one usually laughs back. Mine might be a little closer to hysteria, of course.

Home Sweet Home

2007-09-19T20:36:00.001-07:00

We got back from the road trip a couple of nights ago, and I've been catching up on work and home stuff ever since. I sure missed sleeping in my own bed, although it's a little lonely now. Here are a bunch of pictures to entertain you until I have time to write more. (Edit to add: all are work-safe, unless modest swimsuits are a problem.)

A slightly blurry shot of my brief stint in the driver's seat. As it happens, I actually did drive the car for a while, on a stretch of very straight and boring freeway. After getting over my initial panic, it's a fun car to drive.

More toes, and leaving San Francisco via the Golden Gate Bridge.

And of course I splashed into the Pacific as soon as I had the chance! Wearing, yes, underwear and a tank top, having just handed Max my skirt.

I also took a bazillion 30-second video clips, two of which can be viewed on Matisse's blog, and many of which are punctuated with giggling and the occasional scream. I'll post a couple of them tomorrow.

What, you came here for bondage? Well, as a matter of fact, there was some. But you'll just have to wait for those pictures too...

Road Trip Stories

2007-09-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

Autumn in Seattle fell with a clunk last week, and while there may still be some sunny days, the best is already over. I forget that in places with well-defined seasons, it's still summer. It's still summer in Northern California where we've been driving, staying in tiny quirky towns. Some of the drive has been through 90+ degree drought-stricken mountains and scrubland, complete with forest fires around which we had to detour. We've passed more dried up rivers and ponds than I can count, channels of dust and sand surrounded by wilted plants and hazed with smoke.

My default position for the first day or two of a driving trip with Max is this: right hand white-knuckled on the door handle, left hand gripping the seat, and both feet braced against the floorboard, occasionally stomping on the nonexistant brake pedal. After I get warmed up, I like to sit with my feet on the dashboard, or on the seat with my knees up and spread. Monday, as we hurtled through mountain passes at a ridiculous speed, I perched with my skirt around my waist and my shirt rolled up until it barely covered my nipples, and sweated. We're not talking about a ladylike sheen here - we are talking about dripping. Rivulets of water were tracing cool tickly lines from my knees down my calves to my heels, down the backs of my thighs and between my legs, across my back, between my breasts. When I got out to stretch at the next gas station, my clothes were wet all over.

By dark, of course, it was chilly, so one night we went to a lodge with hot springs - naturally hot sulphery water, but built up with several outdoor pools. Talk about quirky - this place was hippie central, complete with pretty bad food and Sacred Meditation Pools. The towels at the "hotel" (a historic old house) looked like they had been used by hippies for years until they were completely threadbare, then given to Value Village and bought by the hotel and used for a few more years. This was truly a cultural experience. The hot water felt nice anyway.

Also, I got my feet wet in Lake Tahoe. (That's me in the green shirt.) I will take just about any opportunity to get into water, especially if there is sand.

And now we're having a brief fling with civilization, taking a day near the Bay. We went to Mr. S. this afternoon (where I bought a new and very cute strap-on harness), then had dinner with Sparkles and Mr. SF. He'll be joining us for a few days out on the road, which should be amusing. We've hardly done any bondage yet on this trip, and none outside - untapped potential, in my opinion.

Living in Extremes

2007-09-08T09:09:00.002-07:00

I've been in a toppy mood lately. Or at least, I sure seem to be doing a lot of topping. Last week this culminated in an utterly ridiculous piece of scheduling: a brief bottoming scene, followed by two co-topping scenes in a row in one night, with just short breaks in between. I'm sure some tops do this all the time, but I am unpracticed at that kind of gear shifting. It's been great fun, and I am learning some amazingly nasty and wonderful things, but I'm also aware that I need more recharge time.

Despite the frenzy, my life is wondrous lately. We spent a day out at Paradise and it reminded me how much I like being outside, especially naked. I could have spent a whole week lying around naked in a hammock. So maybe next year I'll actually spend some nights. Several good friends had set up a cozy theme camp (big huge kudos to one of those people for spearheading), and we lounged there between workshops and into the night. There's something charming about walking through the forest and on every side hearing orgasms, screams, moans, whips, more orgasms. It's strangely comforting to me, which is perhaps a mark of my own cherished perversion.

I'm eating leftover birthday cake for breakfast, nutrition be damned. It's almost disturbingly good cake. Thanks, Nerdy and Buffie, for giving me such a delightful birthday celebration! It felt a little strange to be the top (do you sense a theme here?), because normally the birthday spankings go to the birthday girl. Extra big appreciation to Buffie who, after baking this amazing cake, gave me a big blank check to be the Birthday Princess Top and do whatever I wanted to her. Who else in the entire world would let me hang a veritable salad bar of fruit- and vegetable-shaped tablecloth weights from her body, in public? Then flog them off? I am so fortunate to have such strong and loving (and patient!) people in my life.

And today, I'm heading out on with Max on his annual road trip. That should be a good recharge. It will also be a well-defined return to full-time bottoming. I never really stop bottoming to him, but my focus has been scattered to the rest of my life lately, and I have spent a lot more time with my toppy pants on. This will be a good opportunity to focus exclusively on him, and on submission and service, with very few distractions. That feels pure to me, and allows me to sink more deeply into our dynamic without having to surface frequently for things like work. Now that's a good birthday gift.

Fun party picture

2007-08-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

Matisse posted a nice picture of me from the party we attended this weekend. (NSFW pic is on the main page - beware.) She also put in a plug for Max's upcoming 2-Day Bondage Intensive - check it out if you're interested in learning suspension bondage from one of the best.

I was indeed more giggly and wiggly than usual, even after Max got me into this rather limited position. Rope gags (and bit-shaped gags in general) are much easier on my jaw than ball gags or others that fill up my whole mouth. I had a great time at the party, even before I got tied up. It was a fun social night, with some tasty conversations and flirtations. I sure felt the late night and champagne the next day, though - I was in a world of hurt. Part of me thinks that I can't party like I used to - and another, rather more sensible part, whispers that I never really could. Still, I don't regret a bit of it.

Now, off to what should be an amusing day...

Notes

2007-08-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt much like writing lately, but this has been a very eventful week. Here are some high points:

- Rockin' party last weekend, with some very hot scenes to watch (and a rather quiet scene for Max and I). Boy-on-boy, plus several well-dressed ladies, yum.

- Saw Eddie Izzard perform live! Wooo! He is brilliant.

- Did a great great great scene, about which I will say no more.

- Got food poisoning! Maybe that's not a high point. But definitely memorable. Overly frisky prawns, we think.

- Max and I cleaned his garage! He's been making ominous noises about it since we met (and probably to other people for some time before that) and we finally spent a couple of days doing it. Cleaned, organized, sorted, took a big load to the dump, and increased the usable space inside by an unbelievable amount. This is the not-so-sexy side of our service relationship, but it's all part and parcel, and I'm very proud of our work.

- The bloodiest scene Max and I have done in a long time. Actually, the first play piercing we've done since I got my nipples pierced. Normally I don't bleed much, but this time I was gushing. Very cathartic all around.

The Best Love of All

2007-07-20T15:03:00.000-07:00

I've edged back into the rest of my life after my long stretch with Max. We had an awfully good time together, very intense and full of nice and nasty activities. I thought I might write a little during that time, but as it turns out, quality time with Max is always more compelling than spending time at a keyboard. Rest assured, there are San Francisco stories and pictures forthcoming.

But that can wait a day. Today I want to talk about love, that most mysterious of mistresses.

It was love at first sight, even though it was through a screen. I rarely browse the internet looking for love - a real-life search is fraught with enough peril to last anyone a lifetime, and has been much more satisfactory and successful for me. I'm also not crazy about the notion of "love at first sight" - I like personality. Besides, I have a partner who fulfills virtually all my needs and desires, and monopolizes a fair portion of my time. But the moment I saw the picture, read the profile, I knew we were meant for each other. Every detail seemed right, our compatibility flawless, and sexiness guaranteed. I've done a lot of loving, but never fallen quite like this.

Thank goodness Max is such an experienced poly partner - he knows how to gracefully share the love of his partners, and supported me fully in my infatuation. In fact, he even helped me arrange an encounter with the object of my affection, and saw my happiness afterward. That rendezvous cemented my resolve - this was the real thing, the Big One, a love that deserves to be lauded in song and story, a love for the ages. My heart is fluttering just thinking about it, my pulse racing.

Distance was the only challenge, and let me tell you, I am not a girl who is looking for a long-distance relationship. I would have bartered my future first-born child for the right opportunity. Fortunately, we found an easier way, and my amour met me on my doorstep just after I left Max's. I was right, it was a perfect fit, and I was held in a soft but firm embrace that left me weak in the knees.

Yes, it's true: I found a flawless pair of shoes.

2007-07-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

We're back from that city on the Bay, and I am tired! I'll have many stories and pictures in the coming days, it was a very eventful (and sexy) weekend. Meanwhile I'm catching up on emails, blogs, and work, and also working off all the tasty meals we ate. Thanks for all the recommendations - we had a great trip, and several more trips worth of stuff we'd love to do. I guess that means we'll have to go back again.

For now, I have another kind of vacation - a week with Max.

Off on an adventure...

2007-07-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

After several frantic days of housekeeping, sewing, and packing (interspersed with yummy fun things) we finally got out of town. I am SO glad to be done with the "frenzied preparation" part and on to the "on vacation" part. Now I'm sitting in Northern California, listening to geeky guys talk about geeky things, and I am very ready for bed. World domination can wait until tomorrow.

The Real Vacation

2007-06-27T13:42:00.001-07:00

Max and I are going to spend a long weekend in San Francisco soon, and I need some suggestions!

I love the idea of SF, but I haven't actually spent much time there, aside from some family trips when I was a kid. We went down for the Folsom Street Fair last September, and made the rounds of most of the adult attractions. This time I'd like to see a bit more of the city, and take in some regular old tourist stuff. (No matter how much of that we do, I'm sure we'll go to Mr. S and Stormy Leather too. We're still card-carrying kinky perverts, after all.)

So - what are your favorite restaurants, attractions, and places to shop, kinky or vanilla? What's your number one, not-to-be-missed spot?

Lazy? Not today.

2007-06-26T10:39:00.001-07:00

Urrrggh. Today was not a day for getting out of bed. I'm not feeling bad - quite the contrary. Everything was just so nice that the idea of changing anything was unbearable. I love waking up in Max's bed. After nearly two hours of ignoring alarms, we concluded that the perfect solution was to stay in bed all day, then did the right thing anyway and dragged ourselves out. No day job can compete with a lazy morning in a sunny bed.

And speaking of dragging, I dragged myself to the gym yesterday. I used to work out a lot, but the past few months have been busy and weird, so my workouts slid off my calendar. I was enjoying it then, but without a routine, I've developed quite an aversion. Last night Max wanted company at the gym, so I swallowed my distaste and packed my bag. It was quite an adventure going to a real gym for a change. (My house mate owns an elliptical trainer, so I usually use that at home while watching geeky reruns on Tivo, and make do with hand weights and body-weight resistance training.) So many people! So many weird weight machines! I don't think I overdid it (quite), but I definitely got a heavier workout than I have in several months. It felt so good, in a sweaty-achy-masochistic kind of way. It might actually be time for me to join a gym again.

We're starting our yoga lessons again tonight, and I am going to be such an easy target. I'm already nice and sore, and I also have my last physical therapy session this afternoon. So much for my season of laziness.

Babies Everywhere

2007-06-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

I always forget that during my once or twice-yearly hometown trips I will be bombarded by rampant fertility. I certainly have a few friends in Seattle with kids, but back in the sticks, baby-making is one of the main forms of entertainment.

This trip, I found out my best friend is 3 months pregnant. She's happy as a clam, just past the worst of the morning sickness. My high school sweetheart just became the proud papa of twins. Several other high school buddies are working on Volume 3 of the baby catalog - one was due any minute when I was there. The inevitable gossip portion of our chat sounded like a daycare attendance list.

Now that I'm back in Seattle, I can't escape it. Pregnant bellies are everywhere - everywhere except on my friends. I sometimes forget that my social circle is not representative of the general populace. Many more of my friends are "child-free by choice". Most folks are focused on career, and almost everyone I know is involved in alternative relationships and communities. Having children is not totally incompatible with kink, poly, or non-het orientation - most of the parents I know here juggle one or more of those - but it changes the ability to schedule those activities (public or private).

A couple of years ago, I felt ready to procreate. My body was primed and ready to go, and I thought it had the right idea. I didn't get pregnant then, for a variety of reasons, and at this point I've cooled on the idea. I'm not opposed to a theoretical nestling in the future, but it's hard to imagine a time when I'll want to rearrange my life enough to make it possible. I'm too busy being a kinky pervert, and not really interested in finding a suitable co-parent. And if I'm perfectly honest with myself, I'm more interested in experiencing pregnancy than I am in raising a child.

Of course, I also haven't held any babies lately. People are wired to want babies, and I'm a sucker for that milk smell.

Back home again

2007-06-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Seattle after the hometown trip. It went well, but I'm tired and sore and ready for a vacation, or at least a massage.

I got to catch up with old friends, and show off some of my favorite haunts to Max. He got to match some faces with names from my stories. We spent a little time with the Mom, but not the bulk, since she was just here for a visit. We stayed with my dad and stepmom instead, and it was very cozy. Max was charming, of course, and everyone loved him. All in all, very nice, and no unexpected "outings" this time.

We had a laptop with us, but managed to forget the power cable, so I had very limited internet access on this trip. (My parents are not completely backward - they have cable internet - but it just didn't feel right to read or write racy blogs on their computer.) So now I'm catching up with a heavy backlog of emails and blogs. Tonight after work I'll unpack and clean house. My otherwise delightful housemate left quite a mess for me, and I chose to sleep last night instead of dealing with it.

Maybe more about all this later, but for now, I'm just glad to be home.

This Closet is Cramped

2007-06-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

The parental visit is in full swing. The Mom is not staying at my house, so that removes one level of complexity. Aside from a cursory purge of the main rooms, I haven't done a lot of straightening up the house. We actually haven't seen much of each other, since I work during the day, but we've spent some time together. Even in small doses, I find it exhausting to heavily censor all my conversations with her. I think I probably appear either antisocial or seriously boring. How far can we get with, "What did you do this weekend?" when I don't want to talk about 80% of it?

Still, this is good practice for my upcoming visit to my hometown. I go back once or twice a year, and while I love certain things about the ancestral stomping grounds, I never look forward to jumping back into the closet. My parents are queer-friendly and fairly liberal, and they know I'm poly, but the Mom in particular has a surprisingly Puritanical attitude about sex, and mostly just doesn't want to know. The culture of the place itself does not encourage openness or embrace people who are "different". It's not a good place to be gay, or liberal, or anything other than white, or to dress funny. Better just not to talk about those freaks. God forbid that I be a nonmonogamous unmarried kinky bisexual - and by the way, I'd like you to meet my partner. He's my father's age, and likes to tie me up and stick needles under my skin.

Can you see why most of my interactions there are fairly one-dimensional?

I owe a giant "thank you" to all my Seattle friends for being open and accepting, even if they don't share my tastes. I'm so glad to be involved with communities that support intimacy, diversity, alternative orientations, and open communication.

In other news, my nipple rings are doing well. No swelling or weirdness, and gradually less painful. I crossed a new line a few days ago, when I realized I could bump into them without freaking out. It still hurts if they get tugged, or bumped on a sharp corner, but brushing my arms against the rings or getting in the shower isn't a cause for panic. I haven't tried sleeping without a bra or tight shirt - a hurdle for the future. (I also haven't mentioned them to the Mom - are you really surprised?)

2007-06-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

Eek! Getting busy again. The beautiful spring weather in Seattle keeps seducing me outside.

I didn't go to Shibaricon, but several of my favorite people did, and I think I need to go next year. I'm scoping out other conventions to attend, and it sounds like Shibaricon would feed all of my rope-centric desires.

But that's a year away. Meanwhile, the important part is that all those favorite people are back in Seattle now! They even brought me some sweet stuff, including a length of very pretty lilac rope. It's small-diameter synthetic from Rainbow Rope - my first non-hemp. It's pretty and slippery, and would be great for a body harness or for head bondage. The only thing I love more than hemp is the color purple. Best: purple hemp, of course.

I'm in the midst of a rope-heavy weekend, thanks to Max's return. I welcomed him home enthusiastically on Tuesday, and have been on cloud nine ever since - I sure did miss that man. He hung me upside down last night, which was delightful. Tomorrow will be the workshop and bondage party. I suppose I can handle one day without rope - today is a completely vanilla housekeeping day at my house. I need to de-kink the place for an impending family visit...

Dreaming

2007-05-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

I just woke up from a strange kinky dream. Not a very sexy one, mind you, more social. It was a gigantic house party including a full spectrum of my acquaintances. I was bottoming in some nice simple rope, but the best part was the huge upstairs window in front of which I was partially suspended. Outside in the street, formally-dressed couples were streaming past to a vanilla event, like maybe Prom or something, but they could see me and our party framed in the big windows. A few of them were intrigued and wandered inside - all women.

In real life, I know it's bad form to do blatantly public BDSM - it disregards the consent (or failure to consent) of the observers. Suddenly they are voyeurs to your scene, whether they like it or not. But in dreams, as in fantasies, some rules don't apply. I was incredibly proud to have seduced these lovely ladies into the house, and hopeful that they would soon take off their fancy dresses. What can I say, I'm an opportunist.

Sadly, I didn't get any further - I woke up. But it's a nice prologue to the longer scenario my mind is now concocting...and that's a pleasant way to wake up.

More piercing photos

2007-05-26T11:42:00.001-07:00

I got the photos from this post back up, hurray!

Here are a few more for your amusement (NSFW).

Closing the rings
Goofy Aftercare - salt water soaking
Magnified Nipples

I also got another set of photos back from my shoot with Michele Serchuk, so stay tuned for more of those...

Photos

2007-05-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well, damn - Photobucket pulled my photos from the last entry. I'll repost them using a different host when I'm back at my home computer. Maybe I'll even post a couple more.

Funny, they didn't pull the half-dozen other nude shots...just the close-up tits.

Anniversary Shenanigans

2007-05-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from my big weekend, and wow, I'm tired! I've spent today avoiding people and fighting off the beginnings of another cold. The first day back in the world is always tough, and today is no exception.

But you want to know what I did this weekend, don't you?

Max and I were celebrating our 1-year anniversary together (tomorrow's the big day, but he'll be on his way to Shibaricon). In addition to the pleasure of each other's company all weekend, he chose to give me another token to commemorate our unique relationship: nipple piercings.

Now, you may have gathered that I like piercing - play piercing, anyway. I had never really considered a permanent body piercing, and had also never had needles through my nipples, which are far more sensitive than the other places we've pierced. But after several weeks of discussion and research, I was excited. And scared and nervous. And excited.

Thank goodness for the kink community - we have several friends who are experienced piercers, and were able to invite D & D over to do this at home in the dungeon. After a sweet day with Max, and a nice warm-up - a blissful rope suspension, which I sank right into - D marked the right spots, showed me the needles and jewelry (12 gauge, 3/4 inch rings), then clamped and pierced each nipple. (Not work-safe or for the needle-squicked.) I admit it: I screamed a little bit during one of them, and roared during the other. But Max was right beside me, holding my hand and helping me ride it, and then I was flying higher than a kite and the rings were in (also NSFW). The energy was heady and palpable, flowing through all four of us, and everyone was nice and buzzed by the end. Thanks, D & D, for beautiful piercings, nice pictures, and for sharing in this wonderful experience with us!

By the next morning I was able to admire how perfect the work was, how accurate and skillful. I spent most of the rest of the weekend lying still, reading, taking showers, being pampered, and generally trying not to bounce up and down too much. It's still a little stingy, but both piercings look healthy and happy, and it's finally sinking in that these pretty shiny rings are here to stay.

2007-05-19T08:10:00.001-07:00

I have a big weekend coming up, and will be doing something new and exciting (and a little scary). I won't say more about that here, but I bet I'll share soon. Suffice it to say that I'll be with Max until Tuesday.

But before all that starts, I'm having tasty breakfast with Nerdy and Buffie, then going to a street fair. I love street fairs/craft fairs/farmers markets beyond all reason. Something about the smells and sounds of summer, and good family history. Plus, I have the opportunity to buy hand-crafted smelly soap, local cheese, and flowing hippie skirts. These things are easy to obtain in Seattle, but much much harder in ye olde hometown. The once-a-year fair (usually out of town) brought a taste of things I wanted every day, and eventually I moved to places where that was possible. Well, maybe not the summer part. Western Washington has beautiful but short summers, with a whole lot of wet and gray in between.

Today it feels like spring, at least. I don't get outside nearly often enough, between an office job and largely indoor hobbies (bondage is a hobby, right?), so this will be a very welcome treat. Then, on to my very indoor weekend...

Birthday Festivities

2007-05-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

Today is the birthday of my sweet Sir and darling partner Max. Happy birthday, Sir! I'm so glad to be your girl, and I hope the years just keep getting better.

Max and Matisse sure throw a hell of a party. I'm still recovering from Saturday night, and I didn't even play! (Max did, of course, with several people - he's so wonderfully slutty in that respect. A happy birthday indeed.) I did watch some lovely scenes, and socialized a lot. I also drank a few glasses of champagne, which is almost unheard of for me, and got pleasantly buzzed (and embarrassingly giggly). The party finally wound down around 4:30 am, and the remnants staggered off to various beds as the sun rose.

Even after a restful Sunday, the re-entry drop is killer today. Rarely has a Monday felt so unwelcome.

The Lusty Month of May

2007-05-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

What a busy month it is! It's all full of good stuff, and lots of kinky delights, but there's barely time to breathe. I love May, with the sun and smell of flowers everywhere, so it seems silly to be spending so much of it cooped up inside dark buildings. But such wonderfully wicked things happen indoors!

I'm running into the usual problem, which is that I'm too busy doing stuff to write much about it. That's the best kind of problem to have, in my opinion. I do want to write more often, but if it's a choice between that and spending an extra evening with my Sir...

Of more immediate concern, I have no earthly idea what I'm wearing to the big party tonight. But if I don't find something nice, I won't fret too much. Hey, skin is always in style.

Fun with PT

2007-05-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a round of physical therapy today. I don't recall sustaining any injuries, but a couple of my joints are distinctly unhappy, especially as my level of physicality increases. In the interest of staying in peak operating condition, I'm being proactive, instead of waiting for mild discomfort to become a serious injury.

Besides, Max likes to use my ongoing yoga practice as a template for the pleasantly sadistic bondage positions we both enjoy. I couldn't let an achy shoulder interfere with that, now could I?

I've been to this clinic before, with a different therapist and for a rather different set of body parts: my pelvic floor. I had a whole regimen of exercises and self-massage, entirely dedicated to strengthening (and more importantly, learning to relax) my vaginal and core muscles. It was actually pretty entertaining, and my therapist was quite impressed at how strong my muscles already were. (I've never been more motivated to practice at home.) For even more fun, she hooked me up to a biofeedback machine. The hardware looked oddly familiar, since it uses electrodes similar to those you'd use for e-stim with a TENS unit. No electric shock here, though - it just measured the amount of muscle tension near the sensor. I had a gauge that showed my level of tension, and had to practice achieving certain levels from 0 (complete relaxation) to 10 (full contraction) and holding them. It's very subtle to the casual observer, as you might imagine. What fun! And all with the power of my pussy!

I'm sure my knee and shoulder exercises will be much less entertaining to practice. But I'll do them anyway, so I'll have years of rigorous bondage to look forward to.

Upcoming Workshop

2007-05-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

I've had all kinds of wonderful adventures this week. I also had a couple of days of feeling pretty terrible, but with my sweet Sir petting my head. Hooray for everything being so nice, even though I'm very very tired. I have a full and busy weekend coming up - my life just never seems to slow down.

But I will plug the upcoming workshop in Max's Bondage Workshop series. It's coming up Sunday May 6th at 2:30 pm. Moving Bodies Through Space, featuring Otis. I'm really looking forward to this one. It will be followed, as always, by the Bondage is the Point party (for Wet Spot members only), and I will definitely be there.

And now, it's bedtime for this tired girl.

Amusing Poly Moments

2007-05-02T12:02:00.000-07:00

As most established households do, Max and Matisse's house has a box of lost socks. Wayward footwear. Stray single socks, their mates lost in the dryer, or somewhere between the laundry room and the drawer. And like the similar box at my house, this one has been overflowing for some time, threatening to launch its contents onto the head of the foolish person who opens the closet to toss in a sock. There's no thought for finding a match, just slamming the door as quickly as possible.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a morning on my own in the house. I had been meaning to listen to Matisse's Polyamory Weekly podcast, so I turned that on. (Incidentally, here's Part 2, and both are well worth listening to.) Then, for no real reason, I thought, "What a perfect time to attack the sock box!" So I did. What can I say, I'm a big laundry geek and mildly OC. A bunch of my service to Max looks like this - oddball house projects that he hasn't gotten around to, but which ought to be done.

So I sat and matched up socks, smiling happily to myself as I listened to Minx and Matisse talking about how great our poly "family" is. It really is. I love how comfortable I felt right then, and how smoothly everything runs. I like doing my part to help keep things smooth. And wouldn't you know it, I found more than two dozen pairs of socks in that box.

Reentry, and Blogger Woes

2007-04-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my tryst weekend, and way too tired to write anything cohesive. It was a great two days, sweetly domestic and relaxing. But now I need a weekend to recover from my weekend.

I'm banging my head against Blogger today. After installing Haloscan comments, somehow I still have Blogger comment links coming up. It's all okay on the main page, but each individual post page has the Haloscan "Comments (#)", then a "Post Comments" link that is for the Blogger system - and those comments are only available on the permanent pages, not the main page. I did a bunch of research yesterday on the hack to fix it, but my template code looks nothing like the code the hacks describe. Curse you, NewBlogger!

So if you're commenting on an entry, please use the Haloscan link. I transferred the Blogger comments over to the Haloscan system, so I'll still have them if I manage to disable the extra link.

Unplugging

2007-04-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend I get a special treat: a couple of extra days with my sweet Sir (and by "sweet" I mean "viciously sadistic" - but in a loving way). Every so often the stars align, schedules work out, and we get an uninterrupted weekend together on top of our usual weekly dates. I'm anticipating a lot of service time, some tasty home-cooked meals, a heavy thrashing, and a bunch of lying around in bed. In other words, a perfect weekend. We've already had some nice dates this week, including a wonderfully rigorous suspension out at the club on Thursday.

When I go over to Max's house for a date, especially for an extended one, I pretty much unplug the rest of my life. Turn off the cell phone, turn off the computer, water the plants at my house so I don't have to stop in, schedule a day out of the office, disconnect the electronic leashes to which we are all slaves these days. (Our pattern is a little different when we stay at my house, although I will often ignore my devices there, too.) It's harder than it sounds, especially at the beginning. I do love my leashes - I'm online almost constantly at work and home, and carry my cell everywhere. Choosing to leave all that at the door, along with my clothes and many of my social conventions, is one of the most submissive things I do. It forces me to be present, to focus all my attention and energy on my partner without outside distractions. Like most of my other submissive acts, it's also incredibly freeing.

When I leave to come back to my house, I have to pick all that back up. It's become a ritual. Check my messages, read and respond to email, read my paper mail, catch up on blogs (reading and writing). Reconnect with the other parts of my life. Feed my mild addiction. That all feels good. But the unplugged nights have started to feel less like a hardship, and more like a little vacation.

So when I finish writing this post, I'll be turning off the computer. I'll pack my bag (light on the clothing, no phone charger), pick up some groceries, and head into my delightfully disconnected weekend. I hope you'll all enjoy your weekend as much as I'll enjoy mine...